So I was on facebook early this morning and came across a discussion, well more of an argument, regarding "natural childbirth". The poster of this "discussion" was talking about how she's had seven kids. The first three she had au naturale and the last four she opted for whatever and however many drugs they could pump in her to eliminate the pain and then wondered why on earth she chose natural with her first three. She was also implying that there is a great deal of judgement from others for not having all her kids natural. There is when the argument started. Pro-natural birthers gave their opinions and experiences, as well as citing the dangers of drugs during birth. Anti-natural birthers chose to focus on the belief that it didn't really matter as that's not what made them a mother, and then bashed the pro-natural birthers for making them feel bad about their decision. So, I thought about this discussion, my views on it, and where I stand in the debate. I did not participate in their banter back and forth and chose to blog about it myself. Ha!
So, here's my take. For those of you reading this who have not yet had your first child and tangle with this decision yourself here's one mother's opinion. For the record, whether it's my opinion or someone else's I have a firm belief that, and I will make this the G rated version, "opinions are like butts, everyone has one and they all stink.
I have three kids. I love all three of my babies and am so thankful everyday that I was given the opportunity to carry each one of them for 9+ months in my womb under my heart. Yes, that is right - 9+ months since none of mine were on time. I made the decision while pregnant with my first to go the "non-traditional" route in birthing my kids. I say non-traditional because in this day and age with modern medicine it is not considered normal to WANT to birth your kids au naturale. All three of my very big babies were born in a birth center, not a hospital. I didn't have a doctor, I had a midwife and a doula. My kids were water babies and it was excruciatingly painful! I have honestly basked in the comments I get from other moms like "you are amazing", "you are quite the woman", or "you are insane". But, to be fair had I had my kids in a hospital I would have caved and went for the drugs I am sure of it. However, being in a birth center drugs were not available so therefor not an option for me. I should also tell you that my babies were huge. 8'8", 10'5", and 8'14". Can you tell which birth weight belonged to my son? Yes, I am shewoman hear me roar!
But here's the thing about where I stand on this debate. I had my kids natural. I HATE hospitals and I HATE someone standing over me telling me what to do or how to do it, or not allowing me to do what I want - ie. walk around vs laying in a bed. I am thankful that I did what I did and chose how I chose. Am I proud of my accomplishment in doing "natural childbirth"? Hell yes I am !!! I am always happy to share my experience with soon-to-be moms who ask and want to know how that experience was for me and why I chose it. But, I do not think less of any other mom out there who chose different than me. I do not think I'm more of a mom for my way but I also do not think that they are better than I because they chose modern medicine. Now, I will say this. My stance on the drug labor is that it doesn't give us women a chance to see how strong we really are. Those that have said to me "I could never do that" my response is always the same. "yes you could, you just don't know it because you didn't do it". We women are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
Having said all that now, why in the H-E-double hockey sticks are we debating on it? We debate on how to birth children, we debate on how to potty train them, we debate on how to punish our children, we debate on homeschooling vs. public school vs. private school, we debate on bottle vs. breast - which for the record is a HUGE hot button for me since I come from a family of women who simply don't produce enough milk to feed our children and I chose not to starve mine, kind of tired of people making me feel bad for that choice. But why are we debating? Are you a Mom? Did your child/children come out of your womb made by you? Did you make that noble, yes noble, decision to adopt someone else's child and make them your own? If yes to any or all of these questions is yes then dammit YOU'RE the M-O-M! Who cares what other people think and who cares that they chose different than you or that you chose different than them. Those babies are yours, nobody else's so it is YOUR decision!!!! You do what's best for you and your baby and I'll do the same for me and mine. I had my kids natural because that was what worked best FOR ME. But I will never condemn anyone else for making a decision different than mine because...well, it's their decision and they aren't me. Nor am I them. Let's celebrate each other not make each other feel bad for the decisions that we make regarding our children. Good Lord, we will feel bad enough throughout raising them for the mistakes we make.
At the end of the day I am reminded of something I said right after my first child was born. I had just finished 23 hours of "natural childbirth", my husband and I were in the water together and I was holding her for the first time right after my husband's hands were the first ones to touch her and help her out of me. I looked at him with nothing but love in my eyes and in my heart and I said, "She's perfect. God made her absolutely beautiful and perfect. It's only us that can screw her up now."
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Swim lesson by my 10 yr old
Hi my name is Sandy and I am a Swim Team Mom. That is a title that I wear and love. It carries alot of emotion with it, far more than I am willing to get in to now so we'll just leave it with the title of Swim Team Mom.
So, as a swim team mom I spend every night poolside while my kids are in practice. Every Saturday morning my husband and I get up at the crack of dawn to cheer on our 3 little munchkins in their swim meets. We celebrate the little wins with them and are blissfully happy with being the obnoxious parents on the sidelines screaming at the top of our lungs "PULL" and running along the side with them as the swim. All the while, by the way, thinking that these kids can actually hear us...which they can't...but we don't care. We are "those" parents.
So today, like any other day, I was sitting poolside watching my kids in practice. One of their coaches asked me yesterday if the kids could stay for the following practice as well as doing their own practice. I, of course, said YES. My kids have some amazing coaches who have helped them reach a potential, a confidence, and a skill set that I've not seen them achieve until this year. As a result I am more than willing to accept any additional instruction they can get. So the kids swam during their practice, 45 minutes, and then swam with the older kids during their practice, another 45 minutes. It is here that I learned a lesson from my 10 yr old.
Ariana...how do I describe her. She is our oldest, so our first. She gave us the biggest lesson in what it really meant to be a parent and care about someone else more than yourself straight out of the shoot by spending her first week of life in the NICU. Since then she has had eye surgery, she has lazy eye, she will have surgery again soon, her eyes don't work together so she has confidence issues, she is shy and introverted by nature, and she is dyslexic. Oft times she will ask me "why did God pick me for this". She has to fight, claw, and dig deep for everything she does and accomplishes. We enrolled her in swim team because it gave her a "level" playing field. It was the one sport that didn't depend so much on her eye sight nor "on land" coordination, which she struggles with because her eyes don't want to work together.
The kids swam, with the two practice sessions, I figured out a total of about 1800 yards. I watched Ariana practicing. She got tired, real tired. She could have quit...but she didn't. She had a moment of "oh crap, I can't do that" and at that moment her coach (who must have seen the look in her eyes) said, "Ariana, you can do this, I know you can" So she did. She is not the fastest swimmer, she's not the best swimmer. Heck, her dive pretty much sucks, she's not great at the turns, BUT she doesn't quit. She knows she's probably not going to be #1 but she doesn't care. She still works just as hard as if she might just win this time.
Even in school, this child has to work 10 times harder than any other student for every grade, trying to make up for how her dyslexia complicates things. Her teacher told me the other day that even on days that you can tell Ariana doesn't want to be there she still gives 100% every single day. That impresses the heck out of me. Not to mention, she's pulling all A's and only one B. She would have every reason in the book to quit, give up, slack off because she's got an excuse to do so. But, she doesn't. She works harder and smarter and loves to learn.
So I thought about that. So often we can feel defeated or that we can't win. Does that mean we quit? NO!!!! Take a lesson from my 10 yr old. When your hurdles are greater than others and you are not the best of the best, don't quit! When there's boulders in your path that seem so big, keep fighting and keep going. You may not be the fastest but what matters most is that you finish.
Ariana, because of her personality, is afraid of every new thing. But she willingly accepts each new challenge and takes it on head first. She's not afraid to work. Even if she won't "win" she will still give 100% effort. THAT, my friends, is winning.
Point is, we all have hurdles. We all have challenges. Don't quit dammit! If my 10 yr old can keep going so can we!
So, as a swim team mom I spend every night poolside while my kids are in practice. Every Saturday morning my husband and I get up at the crack of dawn to cheer on our 3 little munchkins in their swim meets. We celebrate the little wins with them and are blissfully happy with being the obnoxious parents on the sidelines screaming at the top of our lungs "PULL" and running along the side with them as the swim. All the while, by the way, thinking that these kids can actually hear us...which they can't...but we don't care. We are "those" parents.
So today, like any other day, I was sitting poolside watching my kids in practice. One of their coaches asked me yesterday if the kids could stay for the following practice as well as doing their own practice. I, of course, said YES. My kids have some amazing coaches who have helped them reach a potential, a confidence, and a skill set that I've not seen them achieve until this year. As a result I am more than willing to accept any additional instruction they can get. So the kids swam during their practice, 45 minutes, and then swam with the older kids during their practice, another 45 minutes. It is here that I learned a lesson from my 10 yr old.
Ariana...how do I describe her. She is our oldest, so our first. She gave us the biggest lesson in what it really meant to be a parent and care about someone else more than yourself straight out of the shoot by spending her first week of life in the NICU. Since then she has had eye surgery, she has lazy eye, she will have surgery again soon, her eyes don't work together so she has confidence issues, she is shy and introverted by nature, and she is dyslexic. Oft times she will ask me "why did God pick me for this". She has to fight, claw, and dig deep for everything she does and accomplishes. We enrolled her in swim team because it gave her a "level" playing field. It was the one sport that didn't depend so much on her eye sight nor "on land" coordination, which she struggles with because her eyes don't want to work together.
The kids swam, with the two practice sessions, I figured out a total of about 1800 yards. I watched Ariana practicing. She got tired, real tired. She could have quit...but she didn't. She had a moment of "oh crap, I can't do that" and at that moment her coach (who must have seen the look in her eyes) said, "Ariana, you can do this, I know you can" So she did. She is not the fastest swimmer, she's not the best swimmer. Heck, her dive pretty much sucks, she's not great at the turns, BUT she doesn't quit. She knows she's probably not going to be #1 but she doesn't care. She still works just as hard as if she might just win this time.
Even in school, this child has to work 10 times harder than any other student for every grade, trying to make up for how her dyslexia complicates things. Her teacher told me the other day that even on days that you can tell Ariana doesn't want to be there she still gives 100% every single day. That impresses the heck out of me. Not to mention, she's pulling all A's and only one B. She would have every reason in the book to quit, give up, slack off because she's got an excuse to do so. But, she doesn't. She works harder and smarter and loves to learn.
So I thought about that. So often we can feel defeated or that we can't win. Does that mean we quit? NO!!!! Take a lesson from my 10 yr old. When your hurdles are greater than others and you are not the best of the best, don't quit! When there's boulders in your path that seem so big, keep fighting and keep going. You may not be the fastest but what matters most is that you finish.
Ariana, because of her personality, is afraid of every new thing. But she willingly accepts each new challenge and takes it on head first. She's not afraid to work. Even if she won't "win" she will still give 100% effort. THAT, my friends, is winning.
Point is, we all have hurdles. We all have challenges. Don't quit dammit! If my 10 yr old can keep going so can we!
Friday, March 15, 2013
Eastertide...what does that mean?
I really can't believe that I am posting about Easter Season! I started this blog back in January, right after the holidays, which does not seem like that long ago. Time is just rolling on by, which I could really expand upon but that is for a whole different blog post. This one, this one is about something that is at the root of my existence. My foundation. My life. My faith.
What is Easter to you? What does it mean? I know for most, myself included, it means family time. A ham dinner at a nicely decorated spring table with family and friends seated around. It means pretty little girls all dressed up in the most beautiful dresses us Mommies can find to compliment our, of course, already beautiful girls. Their hair all done up with bows, curls, and maybe even pigtails. Little white gloves, new spring dress shoes, tights, and purses to match their new dress. Our boys, well they cannot be forgotten on this day either. I love seeing my boy on Easter with a new Easter outfit. (boys hate it when you call it an outfit by the way) We get them new church shoes and a "set" complete with khakis pants, a freshly pressed button down collared shirt, a sweater vest, and a tie to complete the ensemble. Here in Texas it's actually warm at Easter so my son tends to prefer the sets that come with shorts vs. khakis. But, you get the point. It's a time to get dressed up in our Easter best and then send our kids outside in the dirt to hunt for eggs that the Easter Bunny has left out in the yard. Kind of funny when you think about it, dress them all up, in light colored clothes no less, and then send them out to dirt and grass. Not the smartest activity we parents have created.
But, is that what this season is all about? In more recent years, I think we've done a better job of remembering "the reason for the season" and I think in large part to the commercial success of a certain Easter movie called "The Passions of the Christ". I know soooo many people that make a point of watching that movie at this time of year. If you don't believe me on this, just try to go to your local video store (if there are still any) or order on Netflix and see if you have any luck finding one in stock. Walk through your local department store. This time of year they always have a newly displayed section right in the front of the DVD department with multiple copies of the movie for purchase. Not to be a downer but it is really kind of sad when you think about it that it's the success of a movie that has spawned people to at least watch it to remember what really happened to create this season, this holiday. But, we can also look at it as a positive that people ARE really taking the time to remember.
I hope I don't offend anyone here and I certainly don't mean to but just think about it for a minute. People won't go to church all year, not any given Sunday....except Christmas and Easter. It is nice to see that with all the changes we've made, all the Politically Correctness we feel we need to have, the removal of God from so much that was the foundation of this great country, at least we still...at least somewhat...give God, and Jesus, their days...twice a year.
This season, the season of Easter, is soooo emotional. Or is that just me? Christmas is a beautiful time of year when we remember the birth of Jesus. Who can't be happy celebrating a birth right!? But Easter, now that's the time when we remember that he died. For us. Jesus had to be a man, made of flesh and blood. He had to go through unspeakable pain and suffering in his final days leading up to his death. For us. For me Easter is a reminder each time I go to church and take that communion wafer, the body and blood of Christ. Think about what...that...means. I've been known to get a bit teary eyed on Easter Sunday in taking my communion wafer because I am reminded of all that he had to endure. I often think about, now as a mom myself, how Mary must have felt. I cannot even imagine how heart wrenching it must have been for her to watch her son hanging there. Yes, he is the Son of God. Yes, she knew that. But yes, he still grew in her womb and she still raised and protected him, as any mother would do, as he grew up into the man that now hung on a cross with a crown of thorns piercing into his flesh. Yikes!!! It gets me emotional just to type these words now.
My point here is this. I am not saying that we shouldn't decorate eggs, wait for the Easter Bunny to arrive, celebrate a happy family time, or enjoy our day off on Good Friday. (that's if your company allows you to have that day off) We should enjoy all of that. But, let's also not forget why we are celebrating this time either. Don't forget he's the reason for the season. He went through all of that pain, all of that suffering, all of that anguish for each and every one of us. The least we can do is take the time to remember him for it. And thank him.
What is Easter to you? What does it mean? I know for most, myself included, it means family time. A ham dinner at a nicely decorated spring table with family and friends seated around. It means pretty little girls all dressed up in the most beautiful dresses us Mommies can find to compliment our, of course, already beautiful girls. Their hair all done up with bows, curls, and maybe even pigtails. Little white gloves, new spring dress shoes, tights, and purses to match their new dress. Our boys, well they cannot be forgotten on this day either. I love seeing my boy on Easter with a new Easter outfit. (boys hate it when you call it an outfit by the way) We get them new church shoes and a "set" complete with khakis pants, a freshly pressed button down collared shirt, a sweater vest, and a tie to complete the ensemble. Here in Texas it's actually warm at Easter so my son tends to prefer the sets that come with shorts vs. khakis. But, you get the point. It's a time to get dressed up in our Easter best and then send our kids outside in the dirt to hunt for eggs that the Easter Bunny has left out in the yard. Kind of funny when you think about it, dress them all up, in light colored clothes no less, and then send them out to dirt and grass. Not the smartest activity we parents have created.
But, is that what this season is all about? In more recent years, I think we've done a better job of remembering "the reason for the season" and I think in large part to the commercial success of a certain Easter movie called "The Passions of the Christ". I know soooo many people that make a point of watching that movie at this time of year. If you don't believe me on this, just try to go to your local video store (if there are still any) or order on Netflix and see if you have any luck finding one in stock. Walk through your local department store. This time of year they always have a newly displayed section right in the front of the DVD department with multiple copies of the movie for purchase. Not to be a downer but it is really kind of sad when you think about it that it's the success of a movie that has spawned people to at least watch it to remember what really happened to create this season, this holiday. But, we can also look at it as a positive that people ARE really taking the time to remember.
I hope I don't offend anyone here and I certainly don't mean to but just think about it for a minute. People won't go to church all year, not any given Sunday....except Christmas and Easter. It is nice to see that with all the changes we've made, all the Politically Correctness we feel we need to have, the removal of God from so much that was the foundation of this great country, at least we still...at least somewhat...give God, and Jesus, their days...twice a year.
This season, the season of Easter, is soooo emotional. Or is that just me? Christmas is a beautiful time of year when we remember the birth of Jesus. Who can't be happy celebrating a birth right!? But Easter, now that's the time when we remember that he died. For us. Jesus had to be a man, made of flesh and blood. He had to go through unspeakable pain and suffering in his final days leading up to his death. For us. For me Easter is a reminder each time I go to church and take that communion wafer, the body and blood of Christ. Think about what...that...means. I've been known to get a bit teary eyed on Easter Sunday in taking my communion wafer because I am reminded of all that he had to endure. I often think about, now as a mom myself, how Mary must have felt. I cannot even imagine how heart wrenching it must have been for her to watch her son hanging there. Yes, he is the Son of God. Yes, she knew that. But yes, he still grew in her womb and she still raised and protected him, as any mother would do, as he grew up into the man that now hung on a cross with a crown of thorns piercing into his flesh. Yikes!!! It gets me emotional just to type these words now.
My point here is this. I am not saying that we shouldn't decorate eggs, wait for the Easter Bunny to arrive, celebrate a happy family time, or enjoy our day off on Good Friday. (that's if your company allows you to have that day off) We should enjoy all of that. But, let's also not forget why we are celebrating this time either. Don't forget he's the reason for the season. He went through all of that pain, all of that suffering, all of that anguish for each and every one of us. The least we can do is take the time to remember him for it. And thank him.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Finding yourself
Somewhere way back in my memory bank I remember being a little girl. A little girl with light blonde hair, a silly little smile, too tall for her age, yet so small there was still no better place than Mommy's arms. A little girl who even at that young age found my greatest enjoyment in observing others. My oldest memory was at the age of I am guessing 2. I know this because I know about how old I was when we moved to Montana and I met all my Aunts and Uncles for the first time. Well, the first time that I remember anyway. I remember my Mom having a conversation with my Aunt Jane in the upstairs "girls" room at my Grandparents farm. I very vividly remember pulling my head all the way back to look up at my Aunt and walking in circles around her completely mesmerized by her. I remember her quiet little laugh and asking my Mom, "what is she doing?" My Mom's reply, "I think she likes your long hair. She's never seen anybody with that long of hair before." And she was right. I remember just thinking she was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! She had the most beautiful hair I'd ever seen. As I grew I continued to think so and every Sunday when we would go to my Grandparents house for dinner I would spend time brushing her hair.
Memories are a beautiful thing. They take us back in time for just a moment to re-live a more carefree day. I often wonder as my children grow, what their earliest memory will be. Lord, I pray it's a good one. But have you noticed that when life gets tough, things are difficult, we are going through a traumatic time, or we're just simply having a bad day our brains know we need a "breathe escape", as I like to call them. Breathe escapes are those times where you can just for a moment, for a breathe, close your eyes and go back in time to something peaceful, something simple, something stress-free. A time when you didn't have the cares or the burdens that are currently weighing heaving and pushing down on your already tired and weak shoulders. It's almost like going to the gym, these breathe escapes give us strength. All in one single, deep, comforting breathe.
I don't know if you are a religious person or not. I am and I believe that the human body is the most, for lack of a better word, AWESOME creation to date and was created by God. It far surpasses any discovery or invention science and medicine has ever created. Every single piece of our bodies was designed so specifically and with such purpose. Ask any doctor or nurse and they will tell you that the human body in all it's parts and purpose is truly miraculous. Even our little breathe escapes. How great it is that when creating the human being God gave us a memory. He didn't have to but he did. He gave us a way to look back, that our brains can actually not just remember but visualize every detail of an event we wish to recall. And to find peace in those moments so that we can see that we too will get through this, this difficult thing that is lying right in front of us. I have a few "stand by" breathe escapes that my brain instantly recalls at a moments notice.
A lesson I learned during my pregnancies and subsequent labors of my three natural childbirths from my doula validates exactly what I am talking about. She told me to find a memory, a peaceful memory that made me feel good. During those contractions take yourself back to that place, that time, that moment. Think of every single detail of that event, every sight, sound, smell, taste and feeling. Describe it down to the smallest, most insignificant detail. It draws your focus away from the pain you are feeling at the time and brings you to a calmer, peaceful, comforting place. For me that time and that place was when my husband and I were very newly married. We went to a lake up in northern Minnesota Labor Day weekend. It was just he and I on the boat out in the middle of the lake fishing right at sunset. We had anchored the boat and were just sitting out there. There were no other boats around us so it was just the sounds of nature and the zing of line from our fishing poles casting into the water. There was a slight chill in the air as fall was fast approaching and summer was clearly over. The ever so slight breeze that brushed the stray strands of my hair against my face, the smell of the abundance of trees around us gracefully providing fresh air and oxygen into our bodies to rejuvenate. The sun slowly descending from the sky leaving the most beautiful array of colors; reds, pinks, orange, mixed with traces of blue that weren't quite ready to give up to the setting sun just yet. The smell of campfires off in the distance from fellow vacationers ready to welcome the evening with family and friends, enjoying it's warmth. The sound of the water gently lapping up against the boat as we swayed to nature's music. The sound of the loons providing the song for God's nightly lullaby. The occasional splash in the water from a fish jumping up to catch a brief glimpse of all this glory. That ever so sweet taste of being home, home to my beautiful landscape of God's pallet, Minnesota. All this grandeur of nature at it's finest surrounding us with a welcoming invitation to enjoy this moment with them. True peaceful, natural, priceless beauty there to ignite each and every one of our wonderful senses. Just describing it now brings me back to that place and I feel that familiar, wonderful sense of peace and comfort. I have used this moment so many times in my life I can recall each detail with a blink. And it's what gets me through a tough day, a painful moment, or a difficult time.
When you can do this, you find yourself in that moment. You find yourself, your strength, and what you are made of...in that one single moment. So I ask now, let's see who really reads my blog. What is that moment for you? Where is your peaceful place? What is your breathe escape? If you don't have one, find one. Let's see where it leads you. Take yourself away from all the titles that describe you (wife, husband, mother, father, child, student, doctor, artist, etc. etc. etc.) and find you, just plain ole peaceful, happy you.
Memories are a beautiful thing. They take us back in time for just a moment to re-live a more carefree day. I often wonder as my children grow, what their earliest memory will be. Lord, I pray it's a good one. But have you noticed that when life gets tough, things are difficult, we are going through a traumatic time, or we're just simply having a bad day our brains know we need a "breathe escape", as I like to call them. Breathe escapes are those times where you can just for a moment, for a breathe, close your eyes and go back in time to something peaceful, something simple, something stress-free. A time when you didn't have the cares or the burdens that are currently weighing heaving and pushing down on your already tired and weak shoulders. It's almost like going to the gym, these breathe escapes give us strength. All in one single, deep, comforting breathe.
I don't know if you are a religious person or not. I am and I believe that the human body is the most, for lack of a better word, AWESOME creation to date and was created by God. It far surpasses any discovery or invention science and medicine has ever created. Every single piece of our bodies was designed so specifically and with such purpose. Ask any doctor or nurse and they will tell you that the human body in all it's parts and purpose is truly miraculous. Even our little breathe escapes. How great it is that when creating the human being God gave us a memory. He didn't have to but he did. He gave us a way to look back, that our brains can actually not just remember but visualize every detail of an event we wish to recall. And to find peace in those moments so that we can see that we too will get through this, this difficult thing that is lying right in front of us. I have a few "stand by" breathe escapes that my brain instantly recalls at a moments notice.
A lesson I learned during my pregnancies and subsequent labors of my three natural childbirths from my doula validates exactly what I am talking about. She told me to find a memory, a peaceful memory that made me feel good. During those contractions take yourself back to that place, that time, that moment. Think of every single detail of that event, every sight, sound, smell, taste and feeling. Describe it down to the smallest, most insignificant detail. It draws your focus away from the pain you are feeling at the time and brings you to a calmer, peaceful, comforting place. For me that time and that place was when my husband and I were very newly married. We went to a lake up in northern Minnesota Labor Day weekend. It was just he and I on the boat out in the middle of the lake fishing right at sunset. We had anchored the boat and were just sitting out there. There were no other boats around us so it was just the sounds of nature and the zing of line from our fishing poles casting into the water. There was a slight chill in the air as fall was fast approaching and summer was clearly over. The ever so slight breeze that brushed the stray strands of my hair against my face, the smell of the abundance of trees around us gracefully providing fresh air and oxygen into our bodies to rejuvenate. The sun slowly descending from the sky leaving the most beautiful array of colors; reds, pinks, orange, mixed with traces of blue that weren't quite ready to give up to the setting sun just yet. The smell of campfires off in the distance from fellow vacationers ready to welcome the evening with family and friends, enjoying it's warmth. The sound of the water gently lapping up against the boat as we swayed to nature's music. The sound of the loons providing the song for God's nightly lullaby. The occasional splash in the water from a fish jumping up to catch a brief glimpse of all this glory. That ever so sweet taste of being home, home to my beautiful landscape of God's pallet, Minnesota. All this grandeur of nature at it's finest surrounding us with a welcoming invitation to enjoy this moment with them. True peaceful, natural, priceless beauty there to ignite each and every one of our wonderful senses. Just describing it now brings me back to that place and I feel that familiar, wonderful sense of peace and comfort. I have used this moment so many times in my life I can recall each detail with a blink. And it's what gets me through a tough day, a painful moment, or a difficult time.
When you can do this, you find yourself in that moment. You find yourself, your strength, and what you are made of...in that one single moment. So I ask now, let's see who really reads my blog. What is that moment for you? Where is your peaceful place? What is your breathe escape? If you don't have one, find one. Let's see where it leads you. Take yourself away from all the titles that describe you (wife, husband, mother, father, child, student, doctor, artist, etc. etc. etc.) and find you, just plain ole peaceful, happy you.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Thoughts of a troubled mind late at night...
I am sitting here at 12:41am in my house, catching up on some newsletters my mom sent me, then poking around on facebook, all with a cup of coffee in my hand, and now I'm...blogging. Yeah, I know I'm a crazy nutcase. I have three kids to get up for school in the morning and I really should be sleeping. Most definitely I should not be drinking coffee but my mind won't turn off tonight.
As I was catching up on all these social mediums a question popped in my head. What do we spend our time on? Where do we spend our time? What are we doing with that ever so precious commodity, time? The ever elusive "more time" never seems to happen yet we spend so much time on useless, mindless activity. Let's take television for example, since it's been on my radar this week. It is insane how much time is spent in front of a television set, video game, computer, etc. In my house with my kids this is all lumped together and referred to as "screen time". I was curious on what the statistics are out there regarding just one of the screens, television. Here are some shocking statistics. By the way, for those researcher nuts out there that are going to question where I got these facts, this is from the A.C. Nielson Co.
Now, get this. To close out my stats, based on these findings and found in the same report it states this: Millions of Americans are so hooked on television that they fit the criteria for substance abuse as defined in the official psychiatric manual, according to Rutgers University psychologist and TV-Free America board member Robert Kubey. Heavy TV viewers exhibit five dependency symptoms--two more than necessary to arrive at a clinical diagnosis of substance abuse. These include: 1) using TV as a sedative; 2) indiscriminate viewing; 3) feeling loss of control while viewing; 4) feeling angry with oneself for watching too much; 5) inability to stop watching; and 6) feeling miserable when kept from watching.
I have to willingly admit that I have enjoyed my fair share of television in my day. And I still do enjoy watching certain shows on TV but as I've aged I've also come to a point where the whole thing is really starting to make me angry. I am not saying anything against any one company because truthfully, all the television providers are equally as successful at taking advantage of these statistics and using them to their advantage. They make a great deal of money, and they surely have made their fair share off me and my family. But, no more. We use to have the "Ultimate" plan. I have downgraded our plan now to the bare minimum, it doesn't even have a name nor is listed on their website as an offering, the plan I like to refer to as the Geo Metro Plan. As soon as our contract is up we will downgrade again to the Netflix plan, which I look forward to calling my Hallelujah Plan! Time to get away from the television.
Just think about those statistics for a moment. 9 years of a person's life is spent watching TV. Ask a person at the end of their life if they could get those 9 years back would they do it the same, would they spend those 9 years watching television? Or would they do something different with that time? I don't know if anyone reads these blog posts of mine since I only have one follower, my forever supportive friend Halle. But if you do, and just haven't told me, then you know I am a Mom. I have three kids, I'm married, and I have two dogs. I love my family so much sometimes it makes my heart pang at how lucky I am. Yes, I'll admit it, I even love my crazy dog Astro. I don't want to sit at the end of my life wishing I'd spent less time in front of the television and more time with them. What an awful regret that would be.
When we go, all the things we have we leave behind. You can't take it with you and it means nothing to you at that point. What you leave with is what you leave behind. Memories. Laughter. Hugs. Love. Reading a book. Playing a game. Snuggles. Conversations. Time. Time we spent together enjoying each other. Time we spent talking with our kids about their day, their concerns, their thoughts. They will remember how we made them feel. Something my Mom always said, "everything in moderation". The reality is that we will watch television. And, we will watch our stand-by shows together as a family and that's ok. But, we WILL work harder at finding new activities to do together that don't require a screen. When I am on my death bed, though we love the show Big Bang Theory they will not be thinking of one of the episodes. They will hopefully be thinking of how much they will miss all the time we spent together. Of course...I am kind of a nut. I might just have to make my last word on this earth "Bazinga".
As I was catching up on all these social mediums a question popped in my head. What do we spend our time on? Where do we spend our time? What are we doing with that ever so precious commodity, time? The ever elusive "more time" never seems to happen yet we spend so much time on useless, mindless activity. Let's take television for example, since it's been on my radar this week. It is insane how much time is spent in front of a television set, video game, computer, etc. In my house with my kids this is all lumped together and referred to as "screen time". I was curious on what the statistics are out there regarding just one of the screens, television. Here are some shocking statistics. By the way, for those researcher nuts out there that are going to question where I got these facts, this is from the A.C. Nielson Co.
- The number of hours of TV watched annually by Americans is 250 billion hours
- Value of that time assuming a mere $5 per hour wage is $1.25 trillion
- The average American watches more than 4 hours of TV a day.
- Assuming a 65 year life span that equates out to 9 years of a person's life is glued to the tube.
- Number of minutes per week that parents spend in meaningful conversation with their children: 3.5
- Number of minutes per week that the average child watches television: 1,680
- Percentage of day care centers that use TV during a typical day: 70
- Percentage of parents who would like to limit their children's TV watching: 73
- Percentage of 4-6 year-olds who, when asked to choose between watching TV and spending time with their fathers, preferred television: 54
- Hours per year the average American youth spends in school: 900 hours
- Hours per year the average American youth watches television: 1500
Now, get this. To close out my stats, based on these findings and found in the same report it states this: Millions of Americans are so hooked on television that they fit the criteria for substance abuse as defined in the official psychiatric manual, according to Rutgers University psychologist and TV-Free America board member Robert Kubey. Heavy TV viewers exhibit five dependency symptoms--two more than necessary to arrive at a clinical diagnosis of substance abuse. These include: 1) using TV as a sedative; 2) indiscriminate viewing; 3) feeling loss of control while viewing; 4) feeling angry with oneself for watching too much; 5) inability to stop watching; and 6) feeling miserable when kept from watching.
I have to willingly admit that I have enjoyed my fair share of television in my day. And I still do enjoy watching certain shows on TV but as I've aged I've also come to a point where the whole thing is really starting to make me angry. I am not saying anything against any one company because truthfully, all the television providers are equally as successful at taking advantage of these statistics and using them to their advantage. They make a great deal of money, and they surely have made their fair share off me and my family. But, no more. We use to have the "Ultimate" plan. I have downgraded our plan now to the bare minimum, it doesn't even have a name nor is listed on their website as an offering, the plan I like to refer to as the Geo Metro Plan. As soon as our contract is up we will downgrade again to the Netflix plan, which I look forward to calling my Hallelujah Plan! Time to get away from the television.
Just think about those statistics for a moment. 9 years of a person's life is spent watching TV. Ask a person at the end of their life if they could get those 9 years back would they do it the same, would they spend those 9 years watching television? Or would they do something different with that time? I don't know if anyone reads these blog posts of mine since I only have one follower, my forever supportive friend Halle. But if you do, and just haven't told me, then you know I am a Mom. I have three kids, I'm married, and I have two dogs. I love my family so much sometimes it makes my heart pang at how lucky I am. Yes, I'll admit it, I even love my crazy dog Astro. I don't want to sit at the end of my life wishing I'd spent less time in front of the television and more time with them. What an awful regret that would be.
When we go, all the things we have we leave behind. You can't take it with you and it means nothing to you at that point. What you leave with is what you leave behind. Memories. Laughter. Hugs. Love. Reading a book. Playing a game. Snuggles. Conversations. Time. Time we spent together enjoying each other. Time we spent talking with our kids about their day, their concerns, their thoughts. They will remember how we made them feel. Something my Mom always said, "everything in moderation". The reality is that we will watch television. And, we will watch our stand-by shows together as a family and that's ok. But, we WILL work harder at finding new activities to do together that don't require a screen. When I am on my death bed, though we love the show Big Bang Theory they will not be thinking of one of the episodes. They will hopefully be thinking of how much they will miss all the time we spent together. Of course...I am kind of a nut. I might just have to make my last word on this earth "Bazinga".
Friday, February 8, 2013
Happy Birthday to an amazing woman...my Mom.
Well, it's now officially February. This year is already flying by. I remember someone telling me when I was a teenager that the older we get the faster time flies. As a teenage know-it-all, I thought that was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. It's the same amount of time, how can it go by faster. Aaaahhhh, I hate egg on my face. Good thing I am getting older, memory is slipping, and I don't remember the wise person who said that so I can't put my size 11 foot in my mouth and apologize.
February is a great month though right? For most it's an exciting month because it's the love month. That wonderful tradition of showering the one you love with gifts, flowers, or cards. My mom's a florist people, SEND FLOWERS! I love Valentines Day also. I didn't always like it though, like when I didn't have a special someone to share it with and had to be my Mom's delivery person delivering all the beautiful flowers to others. Yeah, didn't care for that much. But, it still ended up ok. I would come home from a long delivery day to the biggest flower arrangement you have ever seen, filled with all my favorite flowers. From my Mom.
I am always reminded of this great holiday because there is another great holiday that follows it just two days later, the day the most beautiful woman in the world was born. My Mom. February is her month. I know that there are a lot of really great moms out there and I mean no offense to anyone but...I have to tell you that I really think I hit the jackpot and got the best one of all. Yes, I'm sure you'll disagree with me because you have a great mom too, and that's ok. That just means there are a lot of awesome moms out there doing what they do and loving without end. But if you don't mind, I'd like to share with you just a taste of what it has been like having my mom, what I love about her, and why I want to celebrate her this month.
When my brother and I were young Mom was always that soft, comforting touch. She worked tirelessly for us. She did things that in large part are unheard of today. Everything was made from scratch. Though I didn't appreciate it at the time, we never had a school lunch. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times Rick and I would convince her to let us buy lunch at school. She would get up early and hand make our lunch with all that she thought was good for us, but always provided a little treat in there as well. Probably a homemade cookie or the like. She'd also include little notes to us in our lunch, she'd make up a poem, say something funny to make us laugh, or just a simple "I love you". She handmade all our clothes. School shopping for us was a trip to what Rick fondly referred to as the "terial store". I was in 7th grade before I got my first pair of store bought jeans! She made everything she could.
My favorite, and most memorable, Christmas was the year I got a doll house. It wasn't the doll house as much that made it so amazing for me. It was what she filled it with that blew me away. She handmade every single piece of furniture to fill that doll house up completely. Couches, beds, chairs, tables, even linens for the beds, etc. She would work on them after Rick and I would go to bed at night. Each was made out of foam, fabric, and whatever else she could find to really deck it out. I cannot imagine, now, how much time she put in to it all. She would also make me and my dolly, Baby Jane, matching dresses.
She taught us how to plant a garden, tend that garden, and relish in the fruit it produced. Again, at the time I didn't appreciate that either. My least favorite job as a kid was "struting beans". We had a pretty HUGE garden so it was not a quick job. Oh, but to have some of those beans today on my table would be divine. She taught us to respect and appreciate nature. She still does today. She can find the beauty in the most unassuming piece of nature, remind you that it was all created by God, and how amazingly lucky we are that he gave us all that to appreciate and enjoy.
She never yelled. She didn't have to. Truthfully I don't know that she even knows how to. All she had to do was look at us, that look on her face of sheer disappointment, like we'd just damaged her heart. We pretty much snapped back into place with that look. Ok, there was the "rare" occasion that we tested her resolve. She still didn't yell, just very calmly told us, "Rick and Sandy that's it. If you don't behave I'm going to have to tell your dad." Yep, it was all business then. We'd pushed her to her breaking point and you really didn't want to go past that!
Supportive. I can't think of a better word to describe her from the deepest point of her. She let us carve our own paths. She let us make mistakes. No, she didn't always like it and she sure wasn't shy about sharing her thoughts on it. But in the end, she let us choose. And here's the most amazing thing, even when she didn't agree with our choices she let her opinions go and just supported us. Never once, I mean not even once, have I ever gone a day in this life without knowing she had my back. Still to this day, she is my strongest cheerleader with the loudest voice. For those of you who know my Mom you know how funny that statement is. She does not have a loud voice, go back to the fact that she doesn't know how to yell.
As Rick and I have grown, gotten married, and started our own families her love and support has grown with us. Our kids are truly in love with their Grandma. There was a time when my Mom was home taking care of all six of our kids, not one over the age of 5 so that we could go out and work. She didn't want us to have to send our kids to daycare. The things she would do for those kids. There really is no childcare provider out there that does what she would do with those kids. Now that she lives far away from us, I always tell people when my Mom comes to visit these grandbabies of hers, she leaves a trail of tears behind her that stretch from here in Houston, Texas all the way to Billings, Montana where she lives.
Smart. Yep, she is a smart little whipper snapper. Salutadictorian in High School. Creative. Man, she has more creativity in her little pinky finger than most have in their entire body. A flower is beautiful all on it's own. But, when she arranges them she takes their beauty to a whole new level. Even God would be impressed at how she can improve on his creation of them.
I don't know hardly a soul who can say a bad word about her. That is so rare when you think about it. She'll do anything for anyone if she can. She's always thinking of others before herself, even in her darkest hours. As a kid I saw this and always knew this. As an adult, and a mom myself now, I appreciate that quality in her so much and truly admire her.
I think she was even Prom Queen. I have a picture of her somewhere sitting on this fancy chair wearing a cotton candy pink, full length prom dress, hair all up in those 60's curls, a beautiful crowns on her head, and bright shiney eyes so full of life and promise. She was soooo beautiful! I use to love looking at that picture when I was a kid hoping that someday I could be as pretty as her. I wanted to be just like her. Turns out I'm more like her sister Jeanie. But hey, it's all in the family right? When I think back to that picture now I think of all that she has had to go through in her life. She's had to endure so much. Unbelievable hurt and pain. Watching her home burn to the ground. My Grandpa loosing his arm, she has often said that was the most traumatic moment in her life. Then loosing him, her hero. The pain of loosing her Mom and then two brothers. Hurt and pain that is far too personal to even put down in words for all the world to hear.
She's getting older now. When I look at her and see those lines starting to form on her still so soft, sweet face I see badges of honor not lines. Each one is a badge of honor and should be worn as such. Through it all she has not lost those bright shiney eyes full of life and promise. I see them every time she hugs one of her now 7 grandbabies. I see that light in her every time she walks in to church ready to soak up all that God has to give her. I see it every time she is in her element creating beauty with God's nature, flowers. I see it even in that sheepish smile she gets when someone gives her any credit and she hates the attention. And most of all, I see it in her voice when she tells Rick and I how proud she is of us and who we've become.
She is the most amazing woman I know. Full of strength, more than she gives herself credit for. Full of love, for her kids, grandkids, and anyone she calls a friend. Full of faith, willing to scar her knees in prayer for anyone, and I mean anyone, who needs it. She's not perfect, but to me I think she's pretty close to it. They say there are angels among us here on earth. I thing she's one of God's greatest angels and I am sooooo lucky he picked her to be my Mom. I love you Mommy all the way to God and back. Thank you for all you do, all you are, and all you've taught me. Thank you for being the bestest Grandma for my kids.
I read something yesterday, "How does God show you how much he loves you through others?" I think he must really love me because he gave me you. My Mom, my cheerleader, my confidant, and my best friend. I wish you the most amazing birthday month ever this year Mom! Happy Birthday!
February is a great month though right? For most it's an exciting month because it's the love month. That wonderful tradition of showering the one you love with gifts, flowers, or cards. My mom's a florist people, SEND FLOWERS! I love Valentines Day also. I didn't always like it though, like when I didn't have a special someone to share it with and had to be my Mom's delivery person delivering all the beautiful flowers to others. Yeah, didn't care for that much. But, it still ended up ok. I would come home from a long delivery day to the biggest flower arrangement you have ever seen, filled with all my favorite flowers. From my Mom.
I am always reminded of this great holiday because there is another great holiday that follows it just two days later, the day the most beautiful woman in the world was born. My Mom. February is her month. I know that there are a lot of really great moms out there and I mean no offense to anyone but...I have to tell you that I really think I hit the jackpot and got the best one of all. Yes, I'm sure you'll disagree with me because you have a great mom too, and that's ok. That just means there are a lot of awesome moms out there doing what they do and loving without end. But if you don't mind, I'd like to share with you just a taste of what it has been like having my mom, what I love about her, and why I want to celebrate her this month.
When my brother and I were young Mom was always that soft, comforting touch. She worked tirelessly for us. She did things that in large part are unheard of today. Everything was made from scratch. Though I didn't appreciate it at the time, we never had a school lunch. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times Rick and I would convince her to let us buy lunch at school. She would get up early and hand make our lunch with all that she thought was good for us, but always provided a little treat in there as well. Probably a homemade cookie or the like. She'd also include little notes to us in our lunch, she'd make up a poem, say something funny to make us laugh, or just a simple "I love you". She handmade all our clothes. School shopping for us was a trip to what Rick fondly referred to as the "terial store". I was in 7th grade before I got my first pair of store bought jeans! She made everything she could.
My favorite, and most memorable, Christmas was the year I got a doll house. It wasn't the doll house as much that made it so amazing for me. It was what she filled it with that blew me away. She handmade every single piece of furniture to fill that doll house up completely. Couches, beds, chairs, tables, even linens for the beds, etc. She would work on them after Rick and I would go to bed at night. Each was made out of foam, fabric, and whatever else she could find to really deck it out. I cannot imagine, now, how much time she put in to it all. She would also make me and my dolly, Baby Jane, matching dresses.
She taught us how to plant a garden, tend that garden, and relish in the fruit it produced. Again, at the time I didn't appreciate that either. My least favorite job as a kid was "struting beans". We had a pretty HUGE garden so it was not a quick job. Oh, but to have some of those beans today on my table would be divine. She taught us to respect and appreciate nature. She still does today. She can find the beauty in the most unassuming piece of nature, remind you that it was all created by God, and how amazingly lucky we are that he gave us all that to appreciate and enjoy.
She never yelled. She didn't have to. Truthfully I don't know that she even knows how to. All she had to do was look at us, that look on her face of sheer disappointment, like we'd just damaged her heart. We pretty much snapped back into place with that look. Ok, there was the "rare" occasion that we tested her resolve. She still didn't yell, just very calmly told us, "Rick and Sandy that's it. If you don't behave I'm going to have to tell your dad." Yep, it was all business then. We'd pushed her to her breaking point and you really didn't want to go past that!
Supportive. I can't think of a better word to describe her from the deepest point of her. She let us carve our own paths. She let us make mistakes. No, she didn't always like it and she sure wasn't shy about sharing her thoughts on it. But in the end, she let us choose. And here's the most amazing thing, even when she didn't agree with our choices she let her opinions go and just supported us. Never once, I mean not even once, have I ever gone a day in this life without knowing she had my back. Still to this day, she is my strongest cheerleader with the loudest voice. For those of you who know my Mom you know how funny that statement is. She does not have a loud voice, go back to the fact that she doesn't know how to yell.
As Rick and I have grown, gotten married, and started our own families her love and support has grown with us. Our kids are truly in love with their Grandma. There was a time when my Mom was home taking care of all six of our kids, not one over the age of 5 so that we could go out and work. She didn't want us to have to send our kids to daycare. The things she would do for those kids. There really is no childcare provider out there that does what she would do with those kids. Now that she lives far away from us, I always tell people when my Mom comes to visit these grandbabies of hers, she leaves a trail of tears behind her that stretch from here in Houston, Texas all the way to Billings, Montana where she lives.
Smart. Yep, she is a smart little whipper snapper. Salutadictorian in High School. Creative. Man, she has more creativity in her little pinky finger than most have in their entire body. A flower is beautiful all on it's own. But, when she arranges them she takes their beauty to a whole new level. Even God would be impressed at how she can improve on his creation of them.
I don't know hardly a soul who can say a bad word about her. That is so rare when you think about it. She'll do anything for anyone if she can. She's always thinking of others before herself, even in her darkest hours. As a kid I saw this and always knew this. As an adult, and a mom myself now, I appreciate that quality in her so much and truly admire her.
I think she was even Prom Queen. I have a picture of her somewhere sitting on this fancy chair wearing a cotton candy pink, full length prom dress, hair all up in those 60's curls, a beautiful crowns on her head, and bright shiney eyes so full of life and promise. She was soooo beautiful! I use to love looking at that picture when I was a kid hoping that someday I could be as pretty as her. I wanted to be just like her. Turns out I'm more like her sister Jeanie. But hey, it's all in the family right? When I think back to that picture now I think of all that she has had to go through in her life. She's had to endure so much. Unbelievable hurt and pain. Watching her home burn to the ground. My Grandpa loosing his arm, she has often said that was the most traumatic moment in her life. Then loosing him, her hero. The pain of loosing her Mom and then two brothers. Hurt and pain that is far too personal to even put down in words for all the world to hear.
She's getting older now. When I look at her and see those lines starting to form on her still so soft, sweet face I see badges of honor not lines. Each one is a badge of honor and should be worn as such. Through it all she has not lost those bright shiney eyes full of life and promise. I see them every time she hugs one of her now 7 grandbabies. I see that light in her every time she walks in to church ready to soak up all that God has to give her. I see it every time she is in her element creating beauty with God's nature, flowers. I see it even in that sheepish smile she gets when someone gives her any credit and she hates the attention. And most of all, I see it in her voice when she tells Rick and I how proud she is of us and who we've become.
She is the most amazing woman I know. Full of strength, more than she gives herself credit for. Full of love, for her kids, grandkids, and anyone she calls a friend. Full of faith, willing to scar her knees in prayer for anyone, and I mean anyone, who needs it. She's not perfect, but to me I think she's pretty close to it. They say there are angels among us here on earth. I thing she's one of God's greatest angels and I am sooooo lucky he picked her to be my Mom. I love you Mommy all the way to God and back. Thank you for all you do, all you are, and all you've taught me. Thank you for being the bestest Grandma for my kids.
I read something yesterday, "How does God show you how much he loves you through others?" I think he must really love me because he gave me you. My Mom, my cheerleader, my confidant, and my best friend. I wish you the most amazing birthday month ever this year Mom! Happy Birthday!
Friday, February 1, 2013
Parenting is like football...
Being a parent is such a hard job. It truly is the hardest, most gut wrenching job I have ever done in my entire life! Ok, so I realize that we all have had a difficult job at one time or another in our lives. Maybe you have a really high stress job, loads of responsibilities, and a number of people that are depending on each and every decision you make. Agreed, that is difficult and can be gut wrenching. But parenting.....now that's a whole different ball game.
That's your child. It's not like in a job where you make a mistake and you might get written up for it. Worst case scenario, they fire you. Yeah, that can pretty much suck. But, make a mistake as a parent and you can sometimes feel as though you've scarred this child for life! I remember fondly when my first child was born. She was laying in my arms, umbilical cord still attached, all naked...and perfect. I remember my husband and I just staring at her completely awe-struck by this little miracle laying in my very tired and very weak arms. First, in all honesty, I was staring at her whole little body thinking "How did she fit in there?" (I did not have little babies) and "Wow! We made that!?" and "Oh crap! She came outa there...not going to even ask what my va-ja-ja looks like after this." But then came this set of overwhelming feelings. Feelings of complete, I felt so complete holding her in my arms. Feelings of responsibility, a responsibility I'd never experienced like this before. Feelings of overwhelming thankfulness. How did I get to be so lucky to have this. And last, but most definitely not least, I looked at this little person that I just met. We only met a minute or two ago, yet I felt something I'd never felt ever before. I knew that without a thought or a question or even a blink of an eye, I would willingly lay my life in front of a moving train if it meant it would save hers. That's being a parent. That's a whole lotta emotion to experience after 9 months cookin' in the oven and 23 1/2 hours of labor. My husband so sweetly kissed me and through the tears in his eyes he said, "Now we're a family". It was such an amazing, unparalleled moment in our lives. I looked up at Gerry with more love than I'd ever experienced with him before and said, "She's perfect. God made her absolutely perfect. ...It's only us that can screw her up now."
And, that's parenting. Every decision, every thought, every discipline, every breathe taken is done with such purpose. Bear with me a minute. See, I love football. And, since it is Super Bowl weekend it's of course on my brain. In football, creating a team to make it to the Super Bowl is very planned out. Each play, each coach, each trainer, each player has to be at the top of their game for a full 18 weeks. They can't just take a slack-off game day and decide not to play. Well...some do...I won't mention any names (Randy Moss) who thinks he can pick and choose when he's going to participate...can't stand that guy. Ok, I digress. Point is they all have to work together, like a well orchestrated machine, working in tandem for the ultimate prize. That's parenting! Each decision is a player, each thought is a coach, each discipline is a play, each breathe is a trainer. And you have to do it every single minute of every single day of every single year for the rest of your life! There are no slack off days being a parent. We don't get to be Randy Moss!
Now, I'm not implying that we are perfect. Heck, there's no football team to make it to the Super Bowl that is perfect either. There are some times that no matter how bad they want it, things don't go their way and they loose a game. Or there is a player that is just completely off their game that day, despite their best efforts, and they get hurt or have to get pulled and the 2nd string comes and fills in. Thank God sometimes for the 2nd string! And that holds true for football and parenting. We don't always hit the mark with decisions we make or disciplines we have to hand down. But come on, you know you agree with me on this one. We all KNOW when we've hit the mark. Yesterday was just that for me.
My daughter, my oldest, came home from school having had an issue in school that brought her to tears. After my Mama Bear Claws came out and I was able to count to 10, calm down, and slowly pull them back inside I had a Prized Mama Moment. Folks, I am not being boastful of myself here. Well, ok, I'm lying. Yes I am! But I'm not ashamed of that and I don't feel I should be. I have plenty of not-so-prized mama moments I gotta celebrate when I really hit the mark. I did something that gave my child comfort, made her feel good, and incorporated our value system all in one little act. I think what impressed me the most was that I thought of it all on my own. My Mom had nothing to do with it and I didn't steal the idea from someone else. That, my friends, is a rarity. And at the end of the day, I felt good. I felt like I did a good mommy job yesterday. It inspired me want to do a good mommy job today, albeit I woke up late and as a result hubby and kiddos missed half of Donuts with Dad at school this morning. But hey, they all made it and it proves once again that I am not perfect. I will never be a perfect mommy. But, I will celebrate when we've won a game and are that much closer to the Super Bowl of Raising Children.
See the thing is, and now you will understand so much about me, I am a Minnesota fan. I love the Twins and I love the Vikings. We're still waiting for a Super Bowl berth for my Vikings but my Twins have shocked the heck out of Major League Baseball and won the World Series a time or two. But more than that I am a parent. I have been given these three amazing kids with the Super Bowl being that at the end of it all they grow to be kind, caring, loving, faithful, happy people and that they can look back when they are parents and realize that we did alright. We made it to the Super Bowl because we helped them to be that! They will raise their children striving for their Super Bowl berth just like we did and the cool thing is they will have the all the tools to do so. And we....we will sit back, spoil their kids and watch them from our rocking chairs on the front porch saying, "well I guess we didn't screw them up soooo bad". We will watch from our armchairs at them striving for their Super Bowl. We will hold hands, rocking in our chairs, smile and think of the old days all while wearing our Super Bowl rings.
That's your child. It's not like in a job where you make a mistake and you might get written up for it. Worst case scenario, they fire you. Yeah, that can pretty much suck. But, make a mistake as a parent and you can sometimes feel as though you've scarred this child for life! I remember fondly when my first child was born. She was laying in my arms, umbilical cord still attached, all naked...and perfect. I remember my husband and I just staring at her completely awe-struck by this little miracle laying in my very tired and very weak arms. First, in all honesty, I was staring at her whole little body thinking "How did she fit in there?" (I did not have little babies) and "Wow! We made that!?" and "Oh crap! She came outa there...not going to even ask what my va-ja-ja looks like after this." But then came this set of overwhelming feelings. Feelings of complete, I felt so complete holding her in my arms. Feelings of responsibility, a responsibility I'd never experienced like this before. Feelings of overwhelming thankfulness. How did I get to be so lucky to have this. And last, but most definitely not least, I looked at this little person that I just met. We only met a minute or two ago, yet I felt something I'd never felt ever before. I knew that without a thought or a question or even a blink of an eye, I would willingly lay my life in front of a moving train if it meant it would save hers. That's being a parent. That's a whole lotta emotion to experience after 9 months cookin' in the oven and 23 1/2 hours of labor. My husband so sweetly kissed me and through the tears in his eyes he said, "Now we're a family". It was such an amazing, unparalleled moment in our lives. I looked up at Gerry with more love than I'd ever experienced with him before and said, "She's perfect. God made her absolutely perfect. ...It's only us that can screw her up now."
And, that's parenting. Every decision, every thought, every discipline, every breathe taken is done with such purpose. Bear with me a minute. See, I love football. And, since it is Super Bowl weekend it's of course on my brain. In football, creating a team to make it to the Super Bowl is very planned out. Each play, each coach, each trainer, each player has to be at the top of their game for a full 18 weeks. They can't just take a slack-off game day and decide not to play. Well...some do...I won't mention any names (Randy Moss) who thinks he can pick and choose when he's going to participate...can't stand that guy. Ok, I digress. Point is they all have to work together, like a well orchestrated machine, working in tandem for the ultimate prize. That's parenting! Each decision is a player, each thought is a coach, each discipline is a play, each breathe is a trainer. And you have to do it every single minute of every single day of every single year for the rest of your life! There are no slack off days being a parent. We don't get to be Randy Moss!
Now, I'm not implying that we are perfect. Heck, there's no football team to make it to the Super Bowl that is perfect either. There are some times that no matter how bad they want it, things don't go their way and they loose a game. Or there is a player that is just completely off their game that day, despite their best efforts, and they get hurt or have to get pulled and the 2nd string comes and fills in. Thank God sometimes for the 2nd string! And that holds true for football and parenting. We don't always hit the mark with decisions we make or disciplines we have to hand down. But come on, you know you agree with me on this one. We all KNOW when we've hit the mark. Yesterday was just that for me.
My daughter, my oldest, came home from school having had an issue in school that brought her to tears. After my Mama Bear Claws came out and I was able to count to 10, calm down, and slowly pull them back inside I had a Prized Mama Moment. Folks, I am not being boastful of myself here. Well, ok, I'm lying. Yes I am! But I'm not ashamed of that and I don't feel I should be. I have plenty of not-so-prized mama moments I gotta celebrate when I really hit the mark. I did something that gave my child comfort, made her feel good, and incorporated our value system all in one little act. I think what impressed me the most was that I thought of it all on my own. My Mom had nothing to do with it and I didn't steal the idea from someone else. That, my friends, is a rarity. And at the end of the day, I felt good. I felt like I did a good mommy job yesterday. It inspired me want to do a good mommy job today, albeit I woke up late and as a result hubby and kiddos missed half of Donuts with Dad at school this morning. But hey, they all made it and it proves once again that I am not perfect. I will never be a perfect mommy. But, I will celebrate when we've won a game and are that much closer to the Super Bowl of Raising Children.
See the thing is, and now you will understand so much about me, I am a Minnesota fan. I love the Twins and I love the Vikings. We're still waiting for a Super Bowl berth for my Vikings but my Twins have shocked the heck out of Major League Baseball and won the World Series a time or two. But more than that I am a parent. I have been given these three amazing kids with the Super Bowl being that at the end of it all they grow to be kind, caring, loving, faithful, happy people and that they can look back when they are parents and realize that we did alright. We made it to the Super Bowl because we helped them to be that! They will raise their children striving for their Super Bowl berth just like we did and the cool thing is they will have the all the tools to do so. And we....we will sit back, spoil their kids and watch them from our rocking chairs on the front porch saying, "well I guess we didn't screw them up soooo bad". We will watch from our armchairs at them striving for their Super Bowl. We will hold hands, rocking in our chairs, smile and think of the old days all while wearing our Super Bowl rings.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Something Different
Today I am doing something a bit different than my normal writing. My Mom, as I am sure most of our moms are, is my biggest fan and has far more confidence in my writing than I do. She is always encouraging me to write and share my craft with the world. That can be a bit scary but she keeps encouraging me and little by little I am doing so more often. So, a couple weeks ago I received a letter in the mail from her with a newspaper clipping to enter a poetry contest. I thought she was crazy! I'm not a poet. I simply write what I think and feel, it's my "self" time, but it's never been in any sort of poetry format. But, it's not like she left me much choice. She enclosed a note with it that said, "I believe in you! You can do it! Go girl!" How do you say no to your Mom when she says that.
Unfortunately I struggled the past couple weeks finding my inspiration for what to write a poem about. The poem has to be mailed today, postmarked with today's date, so I was running out of time. Then I watched an episode of American Idol last night. The last two contestants of the night were two younger folks, both victims of bullying throughout their lives. One was bullied for being a talented young singer. The other was bullied for being very very short. The last one had me in a pool of tears prompting my dog to lick them all off my face as they fell. We finished watching the show, my inspiration came, and the words started flowing on the page.
Soooo, without further ado, here ya go...
Unfortunately I struggled the past couple weeks finding my inspiration for what to write a poem about. The poem has to be mailed today, postmarked with today's date, so I was running out of time. Then I watched an episode of American Idol last night. The last two contestants of the night were two younger folks, both victims of bullying throughout their lives. One was bullied for being a talented young singer. The other was bullied for being very very short. The last one had me in a pool of tears prompting my dog to lick them all off my face as they fell. We finished watching the show, my inspiration came, and the words started flowing on the page.
Soooo, without further ado, here ya go...
Why Do You Bully
Hurt. Pain. Anger. Shame.
These are the things we feel being bullied.
Why? What? Me? How Come?
These are the questions we ask when we’re bullied.
Short. Tall. Black. White.
These are the things we can’t change yet we’re bullied.
Smart. Gifted. Musical. Religious.
These are great attributes to have, yet we’re bullied.
Disabilities. Struggles. Different. Abused.
These are the things we don’t want, AND we’re bullied.
Gay. Fat. Rich. Poor.
These are things we didn’t ask for, AND we’re bullied.
Friends. Acceptance. Love. Laughter.
These are the things that we want but you bully.
Funny. Loyal. Supportive. Clever.
The things about us you’d enjoy, but you bully.
Strength. Courage. Empowered. Brave.
These are things that we are because you bullied.
Kind. Loving. Understanding. Overcome.
These are the things we have gained because you bullied.
When things come around as they always do
What you do to others comes back on to you.
Sad. Lonely. Guilt. Rejected.
These are the things you will know as a bully.
Kind. Caring. Supportive. Understanding.
These are the things we’ll give you when you’re bullied.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Just another day in paradise
Remember back in the day when all you had to worry about was...you. Getting out the door to work was as simple as getting up, taking a shower, throwing on some clothes and heading out the door. Of course you had to stop on the way to work at your local coffee shop for a fancy latte or the like because you didn't save yourself enough time to put a pot of coffee on at home or you got in so late the night before you didn't bother to set it. Or, maybe that was just me. And for the record, this happened a lot but it's ok because I had the money to afford that fancy cup o joe each and every day. I actually remember throwing on some "not so pajama like" pants on Saturday mornings when I didn't even have to work just to pick up a cup of my favorite blend at my coffee shop where truly everyone knew my name. Those days are over.
Now, the mere thought of stopping at a coffee shop to pick up one of my pre-marital, pre-motherhood tastes of luxury in a cup sends me walking right to the microwave to heat up some leftover coffee from the day before. Good Lord, I could by two school lunches for the price of one Grande Skinny Latte with light whip.
Laundry, aaahhhhh my favorite past time. NOT!!! I've often said "When I am rich and famous I don't want someone to come clean my house, I just want someone to come and do the laundry for me...oh and clean the toilets." Back in my pre-motherhood days laundry was something I did once a week. It would take me all of about 2 hours on a Saturday start to finish and then I didn't have to touch it or think about it again for another week. Well, unless of course that shirt I looked really good in was dirty and we're going out Thursday night. And then I would actually get a whole washer full of water to wash that one shirt. As I type this I am staring at what I fondly refer to as "laundry mountain". How is it that three little people with little clothes can create such a large mountain that even my dogs find it as inside entertainment and exercise to jump over it. Oh and it NEVER GOES AWAY. There is never a finish line to celebrate your success in chipping away at that mountain and getting it completely done! Once you finish that last load and you are just about ready to break open the bottle of wine and relax, little peanut walks in the room with her big, beautiful smile, snuggles up to hug you, and tells you that while cleaning her room as you asked, she found some clothes in the toy box. You look over thinking "well it can't be that bad, I will save it for a full load" Nope, you stare at the mountain that has been resurrected and wonder where were the toys in the toy box if this is what she pulled out.
People are so wonderful and kind when you have three kids and offer you hand-me-downs. I LOVE THAT, don't get me wrong. As a parent of three kids, hand-me-downs are a godsend to the pocket book. They also mean I don't have to do the one thing I truly hate in this world, shopping. Yes, I know I'm weird. What woman doesn't like to shop? This gal right here! Here's the trouble with hand-me-downs, they increase laundry mountain. See I don't like to hand-me-down clothes to someone else unless they have been once again freshly washed. Even if I pulled them out of the dresser drawer, I wash them again before I pass them along. Come on, all you Moms know exactly why. It's a myth that everything in your child's dresser is actually clean. You send them to clean their rooms and dirty clothes end up in the most intriguing of places, the most popular choice however is back in the dresser. (if you think of it from a kid's point of view it does make perfect sense. I got it from there so I will return it to there) Back to hand-me-downs, love them but they increase laundry mountain.
When I was single dinner meant sometimes a sandwich. If that's what mood I was in then that's what I had. In all honesty, oft times it was a stop at Subway or digging into the freezer and grabbing a bag of Pizza Rolls. Why? Because I could and for the record I was also young back then so I could simply skip a meal and loose 5 pounds. Yeah....none of that happens anymore. Not the Subway, because feeding a family of five is not necessarily cheap at Subway, not the Pizza Rolls because there's that whole responsibility deal where you have to feed your kids a well balanced and healthy meal, and my metabolism is not what it once was so I can not and should not be eating them either. I have to actually cook, which normally I don't mind but I have to cook. Kids grow. As they grow you find that their sweet little bodies are nothing but an apparently empty cistern. If you are not familiar with a cistern, my Grandparents had one on their farm for drinking water. I would open the lid to the cistern and you would swear when you looked down in there that there was next to nothing left for cold drinking water. I'd lower the bucket and realize that yes there was but it sure didn't seem like it. Kids are cisterns. Some days you are running in so many directions you have to actually stop, do a mental check list, and remember "yes, I fed the children lunch today". You feed them, like any mom does, three square meals a day and generally two snacks in between yet they are still hungry. I know there has got to be food in them, I'm sure of it because I just finished cleaning up the lunch dishes that I fed them on, yet they come to you "Mommy, I'm hungry". Providing food for these kids is like my laundry mountain, once you're done...you're not.
Single people will sit and look at us married mothers and question, "I just don't get why you can't get away and do lunch with us. Just find a sitter for the afternoon." They clearly do not get it and secretly you say to yourself "ohhhh I can't wait till you have kids". Single people are also oft times full of advise. You can share with them your desire to get healthier, work out, and loose weight. They always have the simple fix, have you noticed that? "You have to take time for you. Get a membership and go to a gym. Do it for yourself and make your family understand that you need time for you." Ohhhhh, I can't wait till you have kids. Taking time for me is being able to pee without an audience, this includes our furry kids as well who I believe have learned from my kids that when Mommy goes into the bathroom you must follow her and try to sit on her lap. Taking time for me is a phone call to my mother filling her with all the reasons I admire her and questioning her on how did she ever get it all done. Taking time for me is reading a book...yeah, who am I kidding. If I sit down to read a book I will most assuredly fall asleep before page 2.
So, it's Monday and this IS just another day in paradise. I have my laundry mountain to tackle, my living room is in utter chaos taking down all the Christmas decorations I put up to make my home a literal North Pole transported, my dogs desperately need a bath but they were knocked down a notch on the list yesterday since the kids needed baths also and if I'm not mistaken CPS doesn't come to your house for not washing your dog but they just might if you don't bathe your kids, I have to plan something nutritious for my family for dinner, AND I actually do have a job and need to work too. With all that to do, I find myself looking at the clock and counting down the minutes until I get to go pick up my kids from school and see their sweet faces. Counting down the minutes until my husband comes home and our little family is reunited after a day of work and school so we can be all together this evening. This is my crazy, chaotic, less than perfect, but more than any one imperfect woman deserves. Paradise is not like I imagined in my single days with palm trees, white sandy beaches, a bathing suit (two pieces cause I could), and a delicious margarita in hand. Paradise is three sweet babies ready with open arms to give me the biggest hugs in the world because they love me that much. It's all five of us sitting on the couch amongst our chaos laughing hysterically watching The Big Bang Theory. It's two dogs that are literally spoiled rotten and know they've got a pretty good life and they show it with their big doggy kisses and snuggles. It's knowing that even though my single life was pretty dayum amazing, it doesn't and never will hold a candle to what I have right now, every day, all day, for the rest of my life.
Ahhhhh, my paradise is perfect!
Now, the mere thought of stopping at a coffee shop to pick up one of my pre-marital, pre-motherhood tastes of luxury in a cup sends me walking right to the microwave to heat up some leftover coffee from the day before. Good Lord, I could by two school lunches for the price of one Grande Skinny Latte with light whip.
Laundry, aaahhhhh my favorite past time. NOT!!! I've often said "When I am rich and famous I don't want someone to come clean my house, I just want someone to come and do the laundry for me...oh and clean the toilets." Back in my pre-motherhood days laundry was something I did once a week. It would take me all of about 2 hours on a Saturday start to finish and then I didn't have to touch it or think about it again for another week. Well, unless of course that shirt I looked really good in was dirty and we're going out Thursday night. And then I would actually get a whole washer full of water to wash that one shirt. As I type this I am staring at what I fondly refer to as "laundry mountain". How is it that three little people with little clothes can create such a large mountain that even my dogs find it as inside entertainment and exercise to jump over it. Oh and it NEVER GOES AWAY. There is never a finish line to celebrate your success in chipping away at that mountain and getting it completely done! Once you finish that last load and you are just about ready to break open the bottle of wine and relax, little peanut walks in the room with her big, beautiful smile, snuggles up to hug you, and tells you that while cleaning her room as you asked, she found some clothes in the toy box. You look over thinking "well it can't be that bad, I will save it for a full load" Nope, you stare at the mountain that has been resurrected and wonder where were the toys in the toy box if this is what she pulled out.
People are so wonderful and kind when you have three kids and offer you hand-me-downs. I LOVE THAT, don't get me wrong. As a parent of three kids, hand-me-downs are a godsend to the pocket book. They also mean I don't have to do the one thing I truly hate in this world, shopping. Yes, I know I'm weird. What woman doesn't like to shop? This gal right here! Here's the trouble with hand-me-downs, they increase laundry mountain. See I don't like to hand-me-down clothes to someone else unless they have been once again freshly washed. Even if I pulled them out of the dresser drawer, I wash them again before I pass them along. Come on, all you Moms know exactly why. It's a myth that everything in your child's dresser is actually clean. You send them to clean their rooms and dirty clothes end up in the most intriguing of places, the most popular choice however is back in the dresser. (if you think of it from a kid's point of view it does make perfect sense. I got it from there so I will return it to there) Back to hand-me-downs, love them but they increase laundry mountain.
When I was single dinner meant sometimes a sandwich. If that's what mood I was in then that's what I had. In all honesty, oft times it was a stop at Subway or digging into the freezer and grabbing a bag of Pizza Rolls. Why? Because I could and for the record I was also young back then so I could simply skip a meal and loose 5 pounds. Yeah....none of that happens anymore. Not the Subway, because feeding a family of five is not necessarily cheap at Subway, not the Pizza Rolls because there's that whole responsibility deal where you have to feed your kids a well balanced and healthy meal, and my metabolism is not what it once was so I can not and should not be eating them either. I have to actually cook, which normally I don't mind but I have to cook. Kids grow. As they grow you find that their sweet little bodies are nothing but an apparently empty cistern. If you are not familiar with a cistern, my Grandparents had one on their farm for drinking water. I would open the lid to the cistern and you would swear when you looked down in there that there was next to nothing left for cold drinking water. I'd lower the bucket and realize that yes there was but it sure didn't seem like it. Kids are cisterns. Some days you are running in so many directions you have to actually stop, do a mental check list, and remember "yes, I fed the children lunch today". You feed them, like any mom does, three square meals a day and generally two snacks in between yet they are still hungry. I know there has got to be food in them, I'm sure of it because I just finished cleaning up the lunch dishes that I fed them on, yet they come to you "Mommy, I'm hungry". Providing food for these kids is like my laundry mountain, once you're done...you're not.
Single people will sit and look at us married mothers and question, "I just don't get why you can't get away and do lunch with us. Just find a sitter for the afternoon." They clearly do not get it and secretly you say to yourself "ohhhh I can't wait till you have kids". Single people are also oft times full of advise. You can share with them your desire to get healthier, work out, and loose weight. They always have the simple fix, have you noticed that? "You have to take time for you. Get a membership and go to a gym. Do it for yourself and make your family understand that you need time for you." Ohhhhh, I can't wait till you have kids. Taking time for me is being able to pee without an audience, this includes our furry kids as well who I believe have learned from my kids that when Mommy goes into the bathroom you must follow her and try to sit on her lap. Taking time for me is a phone call to my mother filling her with all the reasons I admire her and questioning her on how did she ever get it all done. Taking time for me is reading a book...yeah, who am I kidding. If I sit down to read a book I will most assuredly fall asleep before page 2.
So, it's Monday and this IS just another day in paradise. I have my laundry mountain to tackle, my living room is in utter chaos taking down all the Christmas decorations I put up to make my home a literal North Pole transported, my dogs desperately need a bath but they were knocked down a notch on the list yesterday since the kids needed baths also and if I'm not mistaken CPS doesn't come to your house for not washing your dog but they just might if you don't bathe your kids, I have to plan something nutritious for my family for dinner, AND I actually do have a job and need to work too. With all that to do, I find myself looking at the clock and counting down the minutes until I get to go pick up my kids from school and see their sweet faces. Counting down the minutes until my husband comes home and our little family is reunited after a day of work and school so we can be all together this evening. This is my crazy, chaotic, less than perfect, but more than any one imperfect woman deserves. Paradise is not like I imagined in my single days with palm trees, white sandy beaches, a bathing suit (two pieces cause I could), and a delicious margarita in hand. Paradise is three sweet babies ready with open arms to give me the biggest hugs in the world because they love me that much. It's all five of us sitting on the couch amongst our chaos laughing hysterically watching The Big Bang Theory. It's two dogs that are literally spoiled rotten and know they've got a pretty good life and they show it with their big doggy kisses and snuggles. It's knowing that even though my single life was pretty dayum amazing, it doesn't and never will hold a candle to what I have right now, every day, all day, for the rest of my life.
Ahhhhh, my paradise is perfect!
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Even the best laid plans...yeah, you know where this is going.
So, we are at the end of a very long week of getting back into the school routine after the Christmas break. We were all very excited to end this week with a "lazy" Saturday. I use the word lazy loosely, though my kids don't know it will be a cleaning and putting away Christmas decorations day. We all lost a measurable amount of sleep this week getting back into our routine so number one on the excitement list was to sleep in today. No alarm clocks needed, no commitments or required activities to attend, no places to go. Add that to the fact that it is a very cloudy, overcast, drizzly day and you have the perfect recipe for our lazy Saturday. Even the best laid plans fail from time to time.
We all stayed up later than normal last night. I kept the kids up later on purpose in hopes that it would lead to a later wake up this morning. I was so looking forward to recouping my lost sleep this week and awaking to a new day with renewed vigor. My best laid plan failed me miserably. First, I wrapped my broken toe with some new dressing as I had ran out of the one I was using. Turns out I am allergic to it so tossed and turned most of the night with a foot that felt like it was on fire. It didn't occur to me until about 4:30 this morning what the culprit might be. Once I realized it and removed said dressing I felt much better and was able to get some rest...only to wake up to my internal alarm clock at 6:30 am. After about 15 minutes of trying to force myself back to slumber I gave up and got out of bed. Despite my initial plan had been compromised, it was actually quite enjoyable for the first hour. I made my coffee, browsed the internet, talked to my Mom, and genuinely enjoyed the peace and quiet.
Turns out putting the kids to bed late was a lost cause as well. In fact, the cause turned around and bit me in the butt! Now I have three beautiful, wonderful, wide awake, and CRANKY, sleep deprived children. This should make for a very interesting, loooooooong day. I'm sure with their current attitude and state they will be equally as enthused for our cleaning day.
Why is this? Why oh why is it that every time I "plan" to sleep in and be lazy for a Saturday morning I cannot. I feel like my body has turned on me. We usually work well together but every once in awhile my body decides to throw the game. It would be like entering the playoffs only to have your first post-season game end in despair because you had to go with your second string quarterback...or is he a wide receiver...we still don't know. (if you are a football watcher you will know of which team I am referring. I am still heartbroken by the way)
As with everything in life however, you have to sometimes just roll with the punches. I will choose to look at the bright side. I got some quiet time to myself this morning enjoying my cup of coffee without rushing around to make lunches, get school clothes out, finding shoes that were tossed where they aren't suppose to be, wake children up who really don't want to get up, or making sure all homework ended up in their backpacks. And of course the extra bonus is, in light of the chaos that we have during the week, the fact that I didn't get to sleep in today, my children woke up way earlier than they were suppose to, and my dogs will not leave me alone this morning, I wouldn't trade this crazy life for another without it all. Nobody ever said motherhood was easy, just that it would be rewarding.
Now, I am just waiting until after 12:00 so I can switch from coffee to a glass of wine and toast this crazy, chaotic, wonderful life I have. Have a great weekend y'all! Oh and by the way - Bulls On Parade! Go Texans!
We all stayed up later than normal last night. I kept the kids up later on purpose in hopes that it would lead to a later wake up this morning. I was so looking forward to recouping my lost sleep this week and awaking to a new day with renewed vigor. My best laid plan failed me miserably. First, I wrapped my broken toe with some new dressing as I had ran out of the one I was using. Turns out I am allergic to it so tossed and turned most of the night with a foot that felt like it was on fire. It didn't occur to me until about 4:30 this morning what the culprit might be. Once I realized it and removed said dressing I felt much better and was able to get some rest...only to wake up to my internal alarm clock at 6:30 am. After about 15 minutes of trying to force myself back to slumber I gave up and got out of bed. Despite my initial plan had been compromised, it was actually quite enjoyable for the first hour. I made my coffee, browsed the internet, talked to my Mom, and genuinely enjoyed the peace and quiet.
Turns out putting the kids to bed late was a lost cause as well. In fact, the cause turned around and bit me in the butt! Now I have three beautiful, wonderful, wide awake, and CRANKY, sleep deprived children. This should make for a very interesting, loooooooong day. I'm sure with their current attitude and state they will be equally as enthused for our cleaning day.
Why is this? Why oh why is it that every time I "plan" to sleep in and be lazy for a Saturday morning I cannot. I feel like my body has turned on me. We usually work well together but every once in awhile my body decides to throw the game. It would be like entering the playoffs only to have your first post-season game end in despair because you had to go with your second string quarterback...or is he a wide receiver...we still don't know. (if you are a football watcher you will know of which team I am referring. I am still heartbroken by the way)
As with everything in life however, you have to sometimes just roll with the punches. I will choose to look at the bright side. I got some quiet time to myself this morning enjoying my cup of coffee without rushing around to make lunches, get school clothes out, finding shoes that were tossed where they aren't suppose to be, wake children up who really don't want to get up, or making sure all homework ended up in their backpacks. And of course the extra bonus is, in light of the chaos that we have during the week, the fact that I didn't get to sleep in today, my children woke up way earlier than they were suppose to, and my dogs will not leave me alone this morning, I wouldn't trade this crazy life for another without it all. Nobody ever said motherhood was easy, just that it would be rewarding.
Now, I am just waiting until after 12:00 so I can switch from coffee to a glass of wine and toast this crazy, chaotic, wonderful life I have. Have a great weekend y'all! Oh and by the way - Bulls On Parade! Go Texans!
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Seriously - Dogs are treated better than our kids!
So, I was having a conversation with a new friend on Facebook today. She and I have a common bond, well a few of them actually, but met through a mutual friend. We are both "juicing" right now to get healthy. If you've ever done the "juicing" regiment you will know that when doing so you end up with quite a bit of pulp from the fruits and veggies that you are juicing. I don't like to waste so we were having a discussion about what to do with all that pulp. After all, I don't want to just throw it away. There has to be something to be done with it.
I suggested making a broth with it however the more I thought about that I thought it might taste kinda funny given it has fruits and veggies in it. She had a suggestion that she's used before with giving it to the dogs in their food. Then began the "dog" conversation.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am in love with my dog Bear. We've in the past year added another dog to our family, Astro, who really had a tough road to earn my love given how much I love my baby, Bear. But because I am such an animal lover it happened a lot quicker than I anticipated. Now Bear is an Alaskan Huskey mix. He is beautiful, wonderful, and truly the best dog I've ever had or ever will have. I look at it that I have 5 children...well 6 if you include my husband. :-) But, only three of them actually came from my womb. The other two children in our family are our four legged furry kids. Bear has some allergies with food. He can only have the all natural, no wheat, no soy, no corn, no cheap dog food. He is a big boy so his food is not cheap at all and he goes through it pretty quick. Given that is the food we buy for Bear, when we adopted Astro that is what he got too. Now, he is the same and can't have the cheap food or he reacts to it in the form of red, itchy skin. But, because we love our boys and we are responsible pet owners we do what is best for them and bite the bullet with the expensive dog food.
I like to give them a reprieve from the plain, dry dog food occasionally. Because I love them I think that it would really be awful to only get the same thing every day, all the time...dry dog food and water. How boring! So, I spoil them. When I make gravy for our meals I save the extra gravy and pour it on their food a couple times a week. Sometimes I will really go the extra mile to give them a good meal, and yes I am still talking about my dogs, and I make them a mixture of brown rice, lean ground beef, and cooked veggies. I think this is why they love me so.
Back to my conversation with my friend, she is the same as me. She does the same with her dogs and "spoils" them with some good, nutritious food. All of a sudden that whole idea and process prompted this enormous, gigantic light bulb to go off in my head. I am not the only one who spoils their dogs with good food. Notice the key word in there..."spoils".
See, when we are talking about our pets spoiling them means that we give them good, nutritious food. And dogs agree! To them, getting a "home cooked" meal is spoiling them. And they reward you for your efforts by way of lots of love and big doggy kisses. But look at how different it is with our kids.
My kids don't get to go out to eat very often. I believe in trying to minimize the amount of unhealthy food, preservative soaked, chemically enhanced food that I feed my family. I make as much as I can from scratch, I make all my own bread, I buy from local farmers instead of the grocery stores, I buy as little as possible of the pre-processed mechanically made foods and junk foods. By a dog's standards my kids are spoiled rotten! However....
In this wonderful country of ours "spoiling" our kids means that we take them to McDonalds, order a pizza, or buy an unhealthy snack. Do you see the irony in all of this?? Does this make any sense at all? NOOOOOO! To play on words a bit, by doing these things we are "spoiling" them...but not in the good sense. We are training these kids that a "treat" is something unhealthy when in actuality the treat should be that they are given the good, healthy stuff that will help them live a longer, healthier life. So basically what we are doing is telling kids that the "good stuff", the treats are the unhealthy things. So when they get older, have their own jobs and have "arrived" in their careers someday and can afford whatever they want they will gravitate towards the treats, the off limits items that they couldn't have all the time when they were kids because those were "treats".
Dogs are treated better than kids! We treat our dogs with good food but we treat our kids with crap food. Interesting perspective isn't it? Kinda makes me think about what I am really teaching my kids vs what I have taught my dogs.
I will continue to treat my dogs. What I have learned today however is how I should, or should not, treat my kids.
I suggested making a broth with it however the more I thought about that I thought it might taste kinda funny given it has fruits and veggies in it. She had a suggestion that she's used before with giving it to the dogs in their food. Then began the "dog" conversation.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am in love with my dog Bear. We've in the past year added another dog to our family, Astro, who really had a tough road to earn my love given how much I love my baby, Bear. But because I am such an animal lover it happened a lot quicker than I anticipated. Now Bear is an Alaskan Huskey mix. He is beautiful, wonderful, and truly the best dog I've ever had or ever will have. I look at it that I have 5 children...well 6 if you include my husband. :-) But, only three of them actually came from my womb. The other two children in our family are our four legged furry kids. Bear has some allergies with food. He can only have the all natural, no wheat, no soy, no corn, no cheap dog food. He is a big boy so his food is not cheap at all and he goes through it pretty quick. Given that is the food we buy for Bear, when we adopted Astro that is what he got too. Now, he is the same and can't have the cheap food or he reacts to it in the form of red, itchy skin. But, because we love our boys and we are responsible pet owners we do what is best for them and bite the bullet with the expensive dog food.
I like to give them a reprieve from the plain, dry dog food occasionally. Because I love them I think that it would really be awful to only get the same thing every day, all the time...dry dog food and water. How boring! So, I spoil them. When I make gravy for our meals I save the extra gravy and pour it on their food a couple times a week. Sometimes I will really go the extra mile to give them a good meal, and yes I am still talking about my dogs, and I make them a mixture of brown rice, lean ground beef, and cooked veggies. I think this is why they love me so.
Back to my conversation with my friend, she is the same as me. She does the same with her dogs and "spoils" them with some good, nutritious food. All of a sudden that whole idea and process prompted this enormous, gigantic light bulb to go off in my head. I am not the only one who spoils their dogs with good food. Notice the key word in there..."spoils".
See, when we are talking about our pets spoiling them means that we give them good, nutritious food. And dogs agree! To them, getting a "home cooked" meal is spoiling them. And they reward you for your efforts by way of lots of love and big doggy kisses. But look at how different it is with our kids.
My kids don't get to go out to eat very often. I believe in trying to minimize the amount of unhealthy food, preservative soaked, chemically enhanced food that I feed my family. I make as much as I can from scratch, I make all my own bread, I buy from local farmers instead of the grocery stores, I buy as little as possible of the pre-processed mechanically made foods and junk foods. By a dog's standards my kids are spoiled rotten! However....
In this wonderful country of ours "spoiling" our kids means that we take them to McDonalds, order a pizza, or buy an unhealthy snack. Do you see the irony in all of this?? Does this make any sense at all? NOOOOOO! To play on words a bit, by doing these things we are "spoiling" them...but not in the good sense. We are training these kids that a "treat" is something unhealthy when in actuality the treat should be that they are given the good, healthy stuff that will help them live a longer, healthier life. So basically what we are doing is telling kids that the "good stuff", the treats are the unhealthy things. So when they get older, have their own jobs and have "arrived" in their careers someday and can afford whatever they want they will gravitate towards the treats, the off limits items that they couldn't have all the time when they were kids because those were "treats".
Dogs are treated better than kids! We treat our dogs with good food but we treat our kids with crap food. Interesting perspective isn't it? Kinda makes me think about what I am really teaching my kids vs what I have taught my dogs.
I will continue to treat my dogs. What I have learned today however is how I should, or should not, treat my kids.
Happy Anniversary to Me!!!
So...today, January 8th, is a bit of an anniversary for me. No, not the anniversary of my marriage, our first date - not that I know what that date was anyway. I am 40 after all. We have enough trouble remembering all of our children's birth dates, our birth dates, and now because we have kids we have to "remember" the day our dogs were born. (????? - yeah, we pretty much made up those dates) No, it's not that kind of anniversary.
Four years ago today I made a decision that changed our lives more than any other. I had always been a working mom, most of the time an event planner, 60 hour a week working mom. At the time, I was working at the corporate office of a home-based business company of household consumable wellness products. I worked in the regional sales department and my job was to talk with Marketing Executives, do sales training, and help inspire them. I remember like it was yesterday.
I was on the phone with a lady, a mom - Shannon, and telling her what an amazing thing it was that she was doing. I had told her to think about all the things that she was there for with her kids and wouldn't be if she was working out of the home. We went into detail about it, as well as just the amazing thing she was doing in promoting wellness all around her. I had a headset on so that I wasn't tied to my desk all day and as I was talking with Shannon I was standing in front of the window. I had a major revelation. See as I was talking to Shannon about all the things she was able to be there for with her kids because of building her business I was staring out the window of the office watching my kids playing on the playground at daycare. That A-Ha moment of what am I doing!
The next day, today, I went in to the office and gave my two week notice and started my business from home. The past four years haven't always been easy but it sure has been great! I haven't missed a moment! I have been able to be there for my kids before school, picking them up from school, all summer long, swim team, PTO, sick days - I don't have to worry about a boss getting angry if my kids are sick. I've been the Mom that's there, the Mom I always wanted to be. And, I've built a business that gives us residual income. I still get paid every month for business I brought in 4 years ago. If I decide to walk away from my business for awhile to pursue other interests I can do that, still get a check every month, and always come back to it. It is the BEST decision I've ever made.
Gerry, my husband, prayed tonight a prayer of thanks that we both have work that allows us to be there for our kids more, to spend more time as a family than most get to, and we're doing ok! I am so thankful and still love sharing my story with others who are like me and want the opportunity to be home with their kids also. So, Happy Anniversary to me! Happy Anniversary to my family! Thank you to my husband for always supporting me in this. And thank you to Melaleuca for showing me that I can be the always there mom. BEST decision I ever made!
The things I CAN do to make breakfast entertaining....because I'm here.
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