So I was on facebook early this morning and came across a discussion, well more of an argument, regarding "natural childbirth". The poster of this "discussion" was talking about how she's had seven kids. The first three she had au naturale and the last four she opted for whatever and however many drugs they could pump in her to eliminate the pain and then wondered why on earth she chose natural with her first three. She was also implying that there is a great deal of judgement from others for not having all her kids natural. There is when the argument started. Pro-natural birthers gave their opinions and experiences, as well as citing the dangers of drugs during birth. Anti-natural birthers chose to focus on the belief that it didn't really matter as that's not what made them a mother, and then bashed the pro-natural birthers for making them feel bad about their decision. So, I thought about this discussion, my views on it, and where I stand in the debate. I did not participate in their banter back and forth and chose to blog about it myself. Ha!
So, here's my take. For those of you reading this who have not yet had your first child and tangle with this decision yourself here's one mother's opinion. For the record, whether it's my opinion or someone else's I have a firm belief that, and I will make this the G rated version, "opinions are like butts, everyone has one and they all stink.
I have three kids. I love all three of my babies and am so thankful everyday that I was given the opportunity to carry each one of them for 9+ months in my womb under my heart. Yes, that is right - 9+ months since none of mine were on time. I made the decision while pregnant with my first to go the "non-traditional" route in birthing my kids. I say non-traditional because in this day and age with modern medicine it is not considered normal to WANT to birth your kids au naturale. All three of my very big babies were born in a birth center, not a hospital. I didn't have a doctor, I had a midwife and a doula. My kids were water babies and it was excruciatingly painful! I have honestly basked in the comments I get from other moms like "you are amazing", "you are quite the woman", or "you are insane". But, to be fair had I had my kids in a hospital I would have caved and went for the drugs I am sure of it. However, being in a birth center drugs were not available so therefor not an option for me. I should also tell you that my babies were huge. 8'8", 10'5", and 8'14". Can you tell which birth weight belonged to my son? Yes, I am shewoman hear me roar!
But here's the thing about where I stand on this debate. I had my kids natural. I HATE hospitals and I HATE someone standing over me telling me what to do or how to do it, or not allowing me to do what I want - ie. walk around vs laying in a bed. I am thankful that I did what I did and chose how I chose. Am I proud of my accomplishment in doing "natural childbirth"? Hell yes I am !!! I am always happy to share my experience with soon-to-be moms who ask and want to know how that experience was for me and why I chose it. But, I do not think less of any other mom out there who chose different than me. I do not think I'm more of a mom for my way but I also do not think that they are better than I because they chose modern medicine. Now, I will say this. My stance on the drug labor is that it doesn't give us women a chance to see how strong we really are. Those that have said to me "I could never do that" my response is always the same. "yes you could, you just don't know it because you didn't do it". We women are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
Having said all that now, why in the H-E-double hockey sticks are we debating on it? We debate on how to birth children, we debate on how to potty train them, we debate on how to punish our children, we debate on homeschooling vs. public school vs. private school, we debate on bottle vs. breast - which for the record is a HUGE hot button for me since I come from a family of women who simply don't produce enough milk to feed our children and I chose not to starve mine, kind of tired of people making me feel bad for that choice. But why are we debating? Are you a Mom? Did your child/children come out of your womb made by you? Did you make that noble, yes noble, decision to adopt someone else's child and make them your own? If yes to any or all of these questions is yes then dammit YOU'RE the M-O-M! Who cares what other people think and who cares that they chose different than you or that you chose different than them. Those babies are yours, nobody else's so it is YOUR decision!!!! You do what's best for you and your baby and I'll do the same for me and mine. I had my kids natural because that was what worked best FOR ME. But I will never condemn anyone else for making a decision different than mine because...well, it's their decision and they aren't me. Nor am I them. Let's celebrate each other not make each other feel bad for the decisions that we make regarding our children. Good Lord, we will feel bad enough throughout raising them for the mistakes we make.
At the end of the day I am reminded of something I said right after my first child was born. I had just finished 23 hours of "natural childbirth", my husband and I were in the water together and I was holding her for the first time right after my husband's hands were the first ones to touch her and help her out of me. I looked at him with nothing but love in my eyes and in my heart and I said, "She's perfect. God made her absolutely beautiful and perfect. It's only us that can screw her up now."
