If you knew me as a child, a teen, or a young adult, ie. anytime before I got married and had real responsibilities, you would know that I didn't cook. Cooking for me meant opening up a box of mac & cheese or putting a pizza in the oven. Oh, there was the rare occasion that I would actually make something. Sometimes I got lucky but most of the time it was far from edible. Going out on a limb and "creating my own recipe" was flipping the box of mac & cheese upside down and opening it from the bottom. Hey, that's not in the directions so that's new.
Marriage has a way of changing a girl. See, I have this amazing heritage of women who can create something out of nothing and it was always mouth watering good. Far be it for me to break that trend. So began the process of seeing what I could do. Over the years my husband has been kind enough to eat everything I put in front of him and I guess I haven't done all that bad as he is still alive. When I had my kids I had a great revelation, after babies are done with formula alone you actually have to feed them. And, it's generally not wise to make them live on mac & cheese alone. I had to COOK. For the record, there was no mention of this in the manual when I got these kids.
At first, I was one of "those" cooks who lived by what it said in the recipe. There was no veering off course at all. Every time I did the result was not pleasant. But, somewhere along the way the strangest thing happened. I, Sandy Cantesano, actually learned how to cook. Not only did I learn how but I actually enjoy it, most of the time. And surprisingly enough, I have made some dinners that would be worthy of Grandma's pallet...if I was lucky enough to still have her around to taste it.
So, today is Saturday. One of those rare Saturdays where we don't have any plans, no place I have to go, no trucking kids somewhere they need to be. Just a little good music on, kids quietly cleaning their rooms (yeah, right!), and me in my kitchen whipping up some dinner and treats. As I was in my kitchen preparing my beef roast for the oven while whipping up some banana bread in my Kitchen Aid Standing Mixer (my own recipe mind you) it occurred to me how odd this is. I still think of myself as the cook that suffers by comparison. But, I can actually cook. I never thought the day would come where I would make something that my children would salivate at the oven door waiting for it to come out so they could dive right into it. But, here we are and this is that day.
I think, on days like today, of my dear Grandma Heidema and Grandma Diem. They would be so proud...and amazed. Probably good they are not here as I'd probably give them both a heart attack! Have you ever read the book 'Like Water for Chocolate'? Excellent read and a must have. In that story she cooks and whatever emotion she has at the time of her cooking is poured into the dishes she makes. I sort of feel the same way but different. When I lost my Grandmas I was even more inspired to pass their legacy of a good meal on to my children. I truly believe that the day they left this earth they became my cooking angels. And, maybe that is also why I have grown to love cooking. When I am in my kitchen kneading dough for bread, making spatzle, putting a roast in the oven - in Grandma's roasting pot, I feel them with me. I feel this overwhelming sense of belonging and comfort, like I have finally become a part of this great legacy of women. And, kind of like in the book, they are poured into every dish I make. The essence of these amazing women and their legacy is right there with me as a part of the process and in each delectable morsel.
I'm not sure if that saying is really true or not, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach". What I do know is that the way to mine is to achieve the pinnacle of success and my ultimate goal in cooking. I can even picture it in my mind. As the fork raises to their mouth, they shut their eyes and are taken back in time and say, "Sandy, this tastes just like your Grandmas".
Back to the kitchen I go. Lets see if I come any closer today because something's definitely cooking in my kitchen.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Thursday Thoughts
Thursday
Morning Thoughts: This morning I was dropping my kids off at school. We had to
be there extra early this morning as Bianca has tutoring on Tuesdays and
Thursdays. Because we were there early I happen to notice that our friendly
neighborhood police officer was arriving at the school at the same time,
reporting for his morning duty. I looked at him, smiled, and then as I pulled
away I was overcome by this enormous feeling of sadness.
Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for him and why he is there. Our district has taken the position this week to show a strong police presence in each school not because they feel our children are in danger but rather to give our kids a sense of safety. I, as a parent, appreciate their efforts yet it still gives me sadness. To my children, unfortunately, they are unfazed by this. To me, I am.
See I grew up in two pretty amazing areas. First, I grew up in the small town of Billings, MT where at the ripe old age of 10 could walk the mile plus to my friend Darcy's house without worry or care. My neighbors were exactly that, neighbors. We knew them all and when my Mom went back to work my brother and I had a list of Moms we could go to if we needed something before my mom came home, and they would watch out for us. Then we moved during my High School years to Minnetonka, MN. A world apart, we had now moved to the "big city" yet I was never afraid. I was talking to a High School friend yesterday and when a police officer came to our school...somebody was in trouble. Not likely for bringing a gun to school but probably got caught with pot, vandalizing the bathroom, or smoking on campus. Did I just live a very sheltered life? Or was THAT the norm? I feared my parents so I truly tried to never get in trouble. The thought of my Mom's face of disappointment was not something you strived to achieve, her silent treatments were deafening.
I often think "what kind of world did I bring these beautiful children in to?" Violence is normal. They play video games all about it, they hear it and see it on the news or in the PG rated shows/movies, bullying is "normal". My kids know more swear words at their age than I ever did! Not because we allow them to speak them in our home, but because it has become "normal" to use cuss words in everyday conversations, they hear it everywhere they go! I remember the first time I got my mouth washed out with soap for using the word "sh*t", I had no idea it was a swear word, I honestly thought it was just another word for poop. In hindsight, probably not wise to use my new word for the first time at a big family dinner, and because you're not suppose to just get up from the table during dinner so you better have a good reason, announce to everyone that you need to go sh*t. But love, hmmmm, interestingly enough we allow more violence to be acceptable in our surroundings and with our children however the first hint of hot kissing scene, a physical showing of LOVE, on a T.V. show and we are hiding their eyes or turning the channel real quick to "shelter" them. I've noticed that my children will put their hands over their eyes, all while making those ewwww sounds, when they see two people kissing on TV but they don't even think to do that when the see something violent. Would you all not agree, that is soooo wrong! What have we done to these children where this is acceptable?
Now, don't get all ticked off at me or start replying to my rant with your debate on my stance. I will delete all comments that are as such, I am not interested in debating. These are my thoughts. We don't need gun control, guns don't kill people. People kill people. If they don't have a gun, they will find something else. Case in point, 9-11 - the most traumatic thing in my lifetime, didn't happen because they had guns as weapons. It was box cutters and airplanes that were their weapons of choice. What we need is "family control" not "gun control". We need to spend more time turning off the television and talking with our kids, eating dinner at one table at one time, letting our children see us kissing or hugging our spouses yet take our arguments in the other room, teach our children the ten commandments and what they mean, say no to the violent video games and be firm about it. When we come home from work a little less talking about how much people pissed us off that day and more talking about how you saw a homeless man on the side of the road and gave them some change or a sandwich or whatever. See, to do that we actually have to start thinking of all the good deeds we could do, seek them out. And last, but not least, become neighbors again, a community, everyone watching out for everyone.
I am well aware that this will NOT eliminate all the danger, violence, and criminals in the world. But, it's very hard for a person to not value another person's life when they are taught that there is not greater value than a person's life. Regardless of what religion you are, each to my knowledge, is based on principles of love, kindness, generosity, care, and again love-not hate and not violence. Seems like a pretty great recipe to me.
Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for him and why he is there. Our district has taken the position this week to show a strong police presence in each school not because they feel our children are in danger but rather to give our kids a sense of safety. I, as a parent, appreciate their efforts yet it still gives me sadness. To my children, unfortunately, they are unfazed by this. To me, I am.
See I grew up in two pretty amazing areas. First, I grew up in the small town of Billings, MT where at the ripe old age of 10 could walk the mile plus to my friend Darcy's house without worry or care. My neighbors were exactly that, neighbors. We knew them all and when my Mom went back to work my brother and I had a list of Moms we could go to if we needed something before my mom came home, and they would watch out for us. Then we moved during my High School years to Minnetonka, MN. A world apart, we had now moved to the "big city" yet I was never afraid. I was talking to a High School friend yesterday and when a police officer came to our school...somebody was in trouble. Not likely for bringing a gun to school but probably got caught with pot, vandalizing the bathroom, or smoking on campus. Did I just live a very sheltered life? Or was THAT the norm? I feared my parents so I truly tried to never get in trouble. The thought of my Mom's face of disappointment was not something you strived to achieve, her silent treatments were deafening.
I often think "what kind of world did I bring these beautiful children in to?" Violence is normal. They play video games all about it, they hear it and see it on the news or in the PG rated shows/movies, bullying is "normal". My kids know more swear words at their age than I ever did! Not because we allow them to speak them in our home, but because it has become "normal" to use cuss words in everyday conversations, they hear it everywhere they go! I remember the first time I got my mouth washed out with soap for using the word "sh*t", I had no idea it was a swear word, I honestly thought it was just another word for poop. In hindsight, probably not wise to use my new word for the first time at a big family dinner, and because you're not suppose to just get up from the table during dinner so you better have a good reason, announce to everyone that you need to go sh*t. But love, hmmmm, interestingly enough we allow more violence to be acceptable in our surroundings and with our children however the first hint of hot kissing scene, a physical showing of LOVE, on a T.V. show and we are hiding their eyes or turning the channel real quick to "shelter" them. I've noticed that my children will put their hands over their eyes, all while making those ewwww sounds, when they see two people kissing on TV but they don't even think to do that when the see something violent. Would you all not agree, that is soooo wrong! What have we done to these children where this is acceptable?
Now, don't get all ticked off at me or start replying to my rant with your debate on my stance. I will delete all comments that are as such, I am not interested in debating. These are my thoughts. We don't need gun control, guns don't kill people. People kill people. If they don't have a gun, they will find something else. Case in point, 9-11 - the most traumatic thing in my lifetime, didn't happen because they had guns as weapons. It was box cutters and airplanes that were their weapons of choice. What we need is "family control" not "gun control". We need to spend more time turning off the television and talking with our kids, eating dinner at one table at one time, letting our children see us kissing or hugging our spouses yet take our arguments in the other room, teach our children the ten commandments and what they mean, say no to the violent video games and be firm about it. When we come home from work a little less talking about how much people pissed us off that day and more talking about how you saw a homeless man on the side of the road and gave them some change or a sandwich or whatever. See, to do that we actually have to start thinking of all the good deeds we could do, seek them out. And last, but not least, become neighbors again, a community, everyone watching out for everyone.
I am well aware that this will NOT eliminate all the danger, violence, and criminals in the world. But, it's very hard for a person to not value another person's life when they are taught that there is not greater value than a person's life. Regardless of what religion you are, each to my knowledge, is based on principles of love, kindness, generosity, care, and again love-not hate and not violence. Seems like a pretty great recipe to me.
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