This week has been....crazy, emotional, chaotic...at best! I sat tonight with my boss. He is faced with some really hard decisions on when to say enough is enough and let his wife go. I CANNOT even imagine being faced with that. I just don't even know how to wrap my brain around that. I've had to say goodbye to a number of monumental people in my life but this is different. This is his partner in life, the person he's spent a whole lifetime with, had children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren with. How does one say goodbye to that.
I went to his house today in hopes of being a source of comfort for him. Well, let's just put it out there and say it. I SUCK!!!! I couldn't help it! I spent a few short minutes with them and the tears started flowing. So, I tried my best and held my composure as best I could. Well not really but at least I tried. I started this post out to talk about Max but as I write I think this post is going to be dedicated to Max's "Little Liz Taylor".
I met Max, and Donna, about 14 years ago. I started working at GHBA, my first real job after getting married and moving to Texas. Max was my boss, the coolest boss ever. Someone who became so much more than that later but initially he was just that, my boss. I remember a conversation shortly after I started working there. Keep in mind I was a newlywed. Everything in my world and my marriage was nothing but roses and sunshine. And then I met Max.
Max and Donna at that point had been together for 45 years, I think. When I asked him about his wife I will never forget what he said that day. "Well Sandy, what can I say. She's my Little Liz Taylor". I didn't understand fully what he meant at that point as I'd not met her yet. Then I did. Little being the key word there, Donna was this very petite, little thing. Keep in mind I'm a full 5'10" so everyone under 5'7" is little. But Donna, I'm guessing wasl 5'0" if that. Full of life, love, spunk, fire, loyalty, and love. Never with a hair out of place, dressed to the 9's, and her makeup always a picture of perfection, she was amazing. Did I mention she was a gourmet cook as well? Yeah, she had that going for her to. Oh, she's also an amazing and sought after interior designer. Yeah! All of that rolled into this tiny little thing named Donna Hoyt.
As I got to know Max and Donna I learned more and more about them. They had this amazing marriage of give and take, mutual admiration for each other, and this insanely beautiful love. As a newlywed myself I thought WOW I want that 50 years from now.
Fast forward 14 years, a few jobs in between, and I find myself back in the Max and Donna fold of employment. But it's different this time. I'm not this newlywed anymore. I'm married almost 15 years, 3 kids, a few too many moves in between, a few too many heartaches, and a lotta laughs too. I look at them different than I did 14 years ago when I was all roses and sunshine. I sooo admire their love and admiration for eachother.
Life wasn't always roses and sunshine for them either. They had to endure the loss of a child, something I can't imagine experiencing and pray I never do. They went through a few too many moves, a few too many heartaches, a few too many challenges, and a whole lotta laughs too.
Tonight however, was not a night of laughs. It was a night of challenges, probably the greatest their marriage has had to endure. The challenge of separation. Still though, true to form, Max taught me something. We were sitting there together just the two of us and he spoke of the challenges of marriage. He said "We had a good life. But, there were times. Times when we disagreed, times when we argued, times when I came home from work frustrated and took it out on her. I would give anything...to get those days back." Makes you think. Little Liz Taylor and Mr. Max taught me a few things. hmmmm, just think about it.
I sit here tonight finishing this post, Donna has past, and I don't know how to make him smile again. There are very few people in my life that I respect unconditionally. Max is one of those people. He is not perfect but he's perfect enough for me. Leslie, his daughter and my boss, has become so much more than both those things I just said. She has become such a great friend. My mind takes me back to loosing my precious Grandma. Such a hard time, much like they are experiencing now. Little Liz Taylor, aka Donna Hoyt, you left your mark on this world and in those who were blessed enough to know you.
Rest in Peace sweet Donna. Nous Vous Aimons!
